No More, Grandpa

Another very fresh work. Tear it to shreds.

-No More, Grandpa

No more, Grandpa.

No more ancient racism, please.

No more telling me how stupid I am

for trying to be a teacher in “today’s economy.”

Or how Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed in a plot

by Reverend Jesse Jackson.

No more fighting with Great Aunts and Uncles

over petty s**t.

No more happiness.

No more pain, at least, Grandpa.

No more swimming in the summer.

No more lessons on the banjo or

hours of Cripple Creek on repeat.

No more Fourth of July at your house.

No more family business,

or family gatherings, grandpa, because

you made them.

No more, Grandpa, No more Grandpa at all.

Author's Note

Please pay particular attention to the punctuation, as it was all on purpose. I'm hoping that it's working, especially in the last line. If it isn't, PLEASE say so.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

No more, Grandpa...as opposed to "no more grandpa" (which would suggest that grandpa had died). It is quite obvious what you are saying here...a plead to your grandfather (and perhaps the metaphorical "grandfather" of society) that tends to be rooted in a world where things were different; less evolved. Of course, "grandpa" probably has a few things to offer in terms of the things that we have lost as society has progressed, as well. An interesting idea.

[Shawn M]

Actually, I was shooting for (by the end of the poem) people realizing that it did mean the grandpa died. Do you think it might help a little more if I took the "No more grandpa" without the comma and moved it down to its own line?

[Moebia]

Wow, I love this! At first when I began reading I kept pondering "wow what happened that made him hate his grandpa?" and it was as if you were writing this TO him, but then I realized (dumb me) by the end that you were simply stating, literally, no more grandpa. As in, he's not around. It especially clarified in the line "or family gatherings, grandpa, because you made them". Anyways, I can just be slow sometimes. Loved this! It's beautiful.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

A nice way to use human emotion and prejudicial thought!

[Shawn M]

Thank you very much. :)

[Daniel Sala]

Very sad poem, starts looking like relief on the part of the writer then it seems to become grief at the berievement of the relative, cleverly worded.

[Shawn M]

Yes! That means I achieved my goal. :P Thanks a ton for reading and commenting again. I always appreciate any kind of input.

[thespaceinmybed]

Wow. This really is powerfully written. I get what you did with the punctuation. I really got caught up in what seems like anger at first but then the last line really hits you with reality and sadness. It leaves me speechless. Great job.

[Shawn M]

Thanks! That's exactly what I was going for, so that makes me really happy! Haha. Do you think it would add even more if I dropped the last "No more grandpa at all" down to its own line?

[thespaceinmybed]

I think it is fine the way it is. Having it right after the other line makes the comparison more immediate and recognizable