The Twelve Days of America

My own spin on "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

On my first day in America, this country gave to me:
A place to go if I hit bankruptcy

On my second day in America, this country gave to me:
Two parking tickets,
and a place to go if I hit bankruptcy

On my third day in America, this country gave to me:
Three hitmen hitting,
two parking tickets,
and a place to go if I hit bankruptcy

On my fourth day in America, this country gave to me:
Four dumb commercials,
three hitmen hitting,
two parking tickets,
and a place to got if I hit bankruptcy

You know how this goes. We say it all up to verse number twelve, where we say it all and get it over with. I'll save you the trouble of all that reading and cut straight to the last verse.

On my twelfth day in America, this country gave to me:
Twelve months work nonstop,
eleven stupid lawsuits,
ten tons of garbage,
nine animals' rights laws,
eight gunners gunning,
seven hired assasins,
six top secret weapons,
five wedding rings,
four dumb commercials,
three hitmen hitting,
two parking tickets,
and a place to go if I hit bankruptcy!