Abandoned

Its about how it feels to be left and yet still trying to hold on to their presence

When I was little, you used to hold my hand

Even thought we were only crossing a street.. and I was already 7

You taught me to laugh, people say I have your smile

Or that stubborn toss of my head when I am going through life's trials

I grew up to soft crooning and loud talking on the phone

Forced to go to church in uncomfortable, poufy-sleeved clothes

It soon changed as time passed on

Soon daddy was out of the picture, and your boyfriend and I made to get along

But he didn't want me, so you were forced to choose

Between the love of your life or the daughter you stood to lose

I lost...

But at what cost?

I went to live with daddy, he didn't mind me being here

He endured me painting his toenails and girlying up his man-chair

I'd wake up in the morning, stay still just hoping mommy would appear

And yell "Surprise! Just kidding, I want you with me!" out of nowhere

It did not happen...

The lock on my heart was unfastened...

The thump of mommy's heart synchronized with every beat

To my own, forming a mother and daughter harmony

That I mistook in my own eyes to mean

The bond we shared would be old and everlasting

People say if you love someone, let them go

Have they ever tried it, because they would never say it again after being exposed

Giving all of your heart for someone to hold

But discovering they walked out the door with it and the trail gone cold

Being the one girl whose mom never came

For 8th grade graduation, though I called and emailed you the date

I'm still growing older, and yet the silence continues

When all I want on my birthdays is a visit from you

You don't come...

I wonder what it is I have done...

Despise me mommy? I don't know anymore

I kept waiting for you to return and claim me as yours

Did I not love you enough, hug you to your hearts content?

If you take me back, you wont regret giving me a second chance

Daddy says God wont answer my special requests

To make me the angel you always said you never possesed

Did you ever get those letters I send every week?

I've been waiting 5 years, maybe the mailman's satchel has a leak

Mommy? I'm starting to think you're never coming for me

I've been waiting but it's like you forgot half of how to play hide-and-go -seek

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

So beautiful in it pain and honesty as well. Thanks for sharing. I think you might like some of the newer poems that I have posted as well. Feel free to read them if you want.

[Emily B]

there are absolutely no words