The place where the rainbow gets its colours

a story that's been buzzing around for a while. the place where the rainbow gets its colours? it's beatiful. i've been there.

The nights in which he gets to sleep, he dreams of the place where the rainbow gets its colours. But most nights it’s the same; at around one in the morning he gets round to finding a place to sleep. There’s a skateboard ramp where you  can get shelter by sitting underneath it. The ground is covered in spliff ends and cigarette butts, maybe the odd bottle of something every now and then. He goes there often, but he doesn’t like being woken up in the mornings by the stoners who’ve been up all night and want to chill in the morning rays. At around two he’ll wonder why sleep isn’t coming. At four he fishes out a bottle of vodka from his tattered bag and takes hearty swigs, trying to forget himself and fall asleep. But his attempts are fruitless �" at around six he falls asleep in his lake of puke and bile.

This was Jamie’s world. It hasn’t changed a huge deal, only now he has a roof over his head and he’s cut down on the hardcore drugs and the drinks. But he’s still the same old wasted boy, washed up on the shores of screwyness and forever searching for his happy place, in his mind.

I hope that one day he will show me the place where the rainbow gets its colours, but I haven’t much hope. I know that Dominique and Merve would take us there but it’s our secret dream �" somehow, if we tell someone it will never come true. And that makes me sad. Of course it does. If we tell someone our love will be destroyed. I know that sounds f*****g crazy but that’s what we are. It’s fun being crazy. Sometimes.

Jamie’s a genius. He worked out Joni Mitchell’s Blue out on the piano for me. Then he showed it to me and I wrote it down and I learned it like that. I feel like a moron around him but it’s ok because I love him. I love Joni Mitchell too. Blue is such a beautiful album. It reflects so many things in it. My parents loved her too. I think they still do but when do they have the time to listen to music they like? They’re both too wrapped up in everything to appreciate beautiful things. Well I’m guessing that, I’m not the one who goes and sees them at every f*****g opportunity. How does Danny do it without either falling apart or feeling weak? Or both? He’s so sane.

Jamie’s never told me he loves me. I’ve never told him I love him either but I know I do. He told me love is touching souls. I don’t know if he feels the same way but I would die for him. Actually I would die for a lot of people because my life doesn’t mean much to me. Well it didn’t before Jamie. Sometimes I still wish I would die. But I would die for Jamie in a special way.

Author's Note

more coming