Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Forgotten

Forgotten

A Poem by TJ
"

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

"

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

© 2011 TJ


Author's Note

TJ
this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

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Featured Review

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

Posted 12 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very emotional write... and you've depicted it in a very nice way. Enjoyed it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


great storytelling within the body of the poetic form~ works perfectly from the feminine POV~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

If you did this in such a short amount of time I can't imagine what you could do with a few hours.

Seems to me you have a natural gift. A bit of time and work and you'll certainly be able to create pieces that will leave us readers in awe.

Great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful author websites
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I really like this, it flowed wonderfully. It has a nice message to...sometimes people do forget about the people that stand by them threw the tough times, especially when things like fame and money get into the picture.

Great job

Posted 12 Years Ago


Tennessean and a realistically tunned piece, well done

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Throw some more together, this is good writing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


I wouldn't have guessed this was your first shot at poetry. This was powerful and sadly i can relate to it. Very very well done. MKLINE

Posted 12 Years Ago


great read i really liked this
alltid
-Meja Malina

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Amazing poetry! I can feel the hate and revenge flowing and literally dripping from your strong words. I love the way you described and spoke to that one person but also to your crowd. A powerful and compelling read. Great job :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think you wrote this very well from a woman's POV.
This happens often doesn't it? Women left behind.
I feel you have written something deep and meaningful .
This is my first review so forgive me if it does not come out right.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3528 Views
114 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on May 13, 2011
Last Updated on May 15, 2011
Tags: poem, woman, star, forgotten, remember, damage, abuse

Author

TJ
TJ

Virginia Beach, VA



About
My name is TJ and I'm still just your typical aspiring author :) Follow me on twitter @tj_coles And for some short stories in 140 characters or less follow @timmystales more..

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