CAN I?

CAN I?

A Poem by christine zapanta andes

I can shut up everytime you talk,
I can be so strong when you're too weak,
I can laugh so hard when you're making jokes,
I can be your pillow 
in your sleepless nights,
I can be numb when you can't find me 
tangible,
I can be a recorder to tell your 
stories all over again,
I can be your sun to light up your dark path,
I can be a guitar to rhythm your mood,
I can be a mirror to define who you are,
I can stop breathing
when you're breathless to cry..

I may not be your listener,
I may not be your shield,
I may not be what you want me to be
..coz I CAN'T...


-musicfunk-


© 2013 christine zapanta andes


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i don't know... can you?

look. absolutely write if you feel that you have passion for it. the words come when the words come and you shouldn't stop yourself from sharing them.

but this? this seems forced. this seems insincere. not only do you abuse the english language, but you do so with no regard for it. do you understand the difference between "your" and "you're"? do you understand why a reader would be put off by "coz" in place of "cause" or even "because"?

i doubt you really care what i have to say, but that's the whole idea behind reviews. sometimes people are going to be critical of your work. sometimes people aren't going to like it. sometimes people are going to tell you that whatever ideas you have they have already been done.

this writing is a cliche. it's a dead horse. and this review isn't very helpful- i know that. i'm not necessarily trying to be helpful. i'm trying to be honest.

lets say i'm an average reader. if, as an average reader, i am both bored and frustrated with your lazy use of grammar, what do you expect from a critical reader? unless you are writing for anyone other than yourself or sub-par readers, do yourself a favor and write something of substance.

Posted 6 Years Ago


christine zapanta andes

6 Years Ago

ok,got it ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

christine zapanta andes

6 Years Ago

;)

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Added on May 7, 2013
Last Updated on December 3, 2013

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christine zapanta andes
christine zapanta andes

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