The Song You Sing

How I so long to come to you
In all the splendid ways our love seeks
To crawl into the comforts of a bed made for two
Snuggled so contently in the other's arms
Slip into the warmth, the mingling beat of hearts
Fall into a peaceful slumber with a smile upon our lips
Then wake to the words I would whisper every morning
Gently breathed against your ear, slowly kissed along your cheek
Promising such intimate moments shared with a woman
With the woman who loves you

The outcry always lingering on the tip of my tongue
All the many things that I want to tell you
All the many things that I want to ask you
Beginning with, "Do you still love me? Will you always?"
Wishing to share all the secrets not yet shared
So near that you could pass me on the street
Greet this cherishing gaze so unexpectedly
How the crushing miles once lying between us
Has now become little more than one step forward
One small step into our dreams

Wanting to traverse those quiet places with you
To request to go wherever you may go
Unplugged from the world, barefoot and laughing
Walking hand in hand in a youthful shimmer of sunlight
Stealing long tastes of lips softly held by moonlight
Our voices soothing, smiling as we lose ourselves to a book
Where you would fall for the child in me and I the child in you
Aching for those times when we cannot help but pause
Those moments when thoughts still swim with disbelief
That I am there with you, and you are there with me

Seemingly counting each passing second lost
Of time that continues to weigh like dragging chains
Vowing to hold my breath until we meet
When life suddenly begins for both you and me
Because I ache to become the song you sing
For you to look upon me as I am, see these loving wings
To let me be the hope that so lightly lifts you away
Waiting for the moment I become your everything
When your beautiful heart can only whisper of one name
And every piece of you speaks of what only you can see

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Hi there! I was browsing WC and came upon this delightful piece. I really enjoyed it. I think what it does is pretty much cover the whole gamut of feelings and experiences of being in love and loving. But it does in in words that both flow and caress, but also draw the reader's attention to the things we so often may overlook or speed on past. Like tiny petals on a flower in the grass in a meadow - sometimes the exquisiteness is in the tactile details you bring to life so well. Nice job.

One suggested tweak for grammar / punctuation - crushing miles ... have (not has).

One line that jars for me ... so near that you could pass me on the street. I wondered if this is intentionally ironic, because strangers pass on the street, brush past each other, every day. This is followed by 'greet this cherishing gaze so unexpectedly'. This could simply be unassuming modesty - can she really really love me, etc or it could be linked in some way I can't quite fathom to the 'so near' ironic line. Don't know, but this was the only part that jarred. The rest was pure joy!

Nice job!

Regards
Nigel

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you, Nigel.:) For finding this delightful and for taking the time to think upon this piece so thoroughly... Those little ironic hints... Such a wonderful review!

[Aspiringthinker]

that was incredible, the way you placed the words are so smooth and the descriptive detail really paints the mental image of what you're describing, Great job.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you so much, Aspiring. Such an encouraging review and so appreciated! This piece is special to me.

[Kumar]

you write nice, I read it

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you, Kumar.:) A wonderful compliment.

[Kumar]

I see in your good expressive power in your writing.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Err... I try.:) Can't wait to see what you've got up your sleeve.

[brian]

Yes, I felt these words. I love these words: They speak of a soulmate who is out there, you will one day find. The first half of the poem, it seemed like you already found him; but, by the last stanza, it was clear that you are still 'longing' to meet him. It made me think of the mother of my child and/or my future "better half." It is that feeling of reassurance and oneness we feel with the other after we finally find him or her.

[Beautiful Intentions]

So glad that this had moved you so, Brian... That it could make you think of someone so dear to you. Your review touched my heart. Thank you very much.:)

[Astrid]

This line in the last stanza: "To let it me be the hope that so lightly lifts you away" I believe there is perhaps an extra word by mistake

Beautiful piece, quite lovely c:

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you for the good lookin' out on this piece, Astrid. And of course for your sweet review.:)

[genocide]

a very good song my dear really good

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you, genocide! Very appreciated.:)

[Jibey]

You are the romantic par excellence! This writing breathes the special joy of two women, whose love cannot be surpassed. The dreamy longings and aching desires are erotic in the manner of a fragrant massage, given by a beautiful woman in a luxurious room where music enhances the sensation. What could be more delicious than your words kissed against her cheek - though my naughty imagination dreamt up two possibilities! 'Long tastes of lips softly held by moonlight' - mmm, so delicious, barefoot and laughing, longing to be naked and gasping. What woman could resist your siren song? And I, a mere mortal man, find the spirit within me stirred to an irrepressible arousal, stroked by your words.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Ahaha.:) Thank you, sweetness. A very late thank you! "What woman could resist your siren song?" That's a good question... And one I will not answer right now as it will include a bunch of grumbling. Giggle/blush... Do so love your magical reviews.