Worst of Times

Maybe sometimes it's just forgive and move on.

   ~Jane~
 As I walk home from school, rain soaking through my converse, I have the creepiest feeling. I'm being watched. I look over my shoulder every few seconds, but it's always just trash, cigarette butts, and the occasional cat. I shrug my backpack high up on my shoulders, and look straight ahead, making my feet move a little faster.

~Rake~
   I know she knows. I see the panic in her eyes when she turns around. The thing is, she looks right at meet, but doesn't actually see me. I just stand there, grinning like crazy while she thinks there's a murderer after her. I continue to watch her, waiting for her to notice me.

~Jane~
   I know it's him after about ten minutes. Rake. I stop walking, and whisper his name to myself quietly. Then I say it louder. And he appears in front of my eyes.
   "Hello, beautiful." He grins, and I remember every detail. Upper lip piercing. Tiny scar on his nose from the last piercing.
   I almost collapse to my knees, but instead I squeeze his arm to make sure he's real. As soon as my finger touches him, it goes through the skin, like air. I shut my eyes tight, forcing the tears not to come out. They slip down my cheek anyways.
 
~Rake~
    "Yeah, I know. It's weird." I stare at my feet awkwardly. She nods slowly.
    "You're still..."
    "Dead? Yeah." He looks up, his eyes twinkling. He called them the 'Asian eyes of awesomeness'' when we were younger.
    "But, I can see you..."
    "Jay, you know this. You saw me in the hallway that day. You witnessed it. Now you can see me."
   
~Jane~

  I've replayed that image in my mind over a billion times since that day. It was some random kid. Some random problem. Some random stabbing. But the victim was no random face. Rake...
   11 stab wounds. Then he had to be put in an emergency room. He didn't last long.

~Rake~
  Did I feel pain? No. According to Georgia, she took my soul before it happened. Georgia is a grim reaper, or at least, that's what she told me. But there's something I'm not telling Jane.

~Jane~

   I shake all of the sadness off like a wet jacket, and smile brightly.
   "Come on. Let's go down to the river." I take him to our favorite place under the bridge. I kick at the rocks, neither of us talking.
  
~Rake~

  God, I love her.

~Jane~

  "Rake?"
  "Yeah?"
  "Did it hurt?"
  "No."
  "Oh."
  "Did it hurt for you?"
  "I didn't get stabbed."
  "I know. But did me dying hurt you terribly?"
  "Yeah." I was never big on huge confessions and sobbing. But now, I can't stop the tears. He rubs me on the back quietly, but I don't feel it. He just goes right through me.
  "It's not fair!" I yell. "You're dead for no reason! He didn't even know you!"
 
~Rake~

  I squirm uncomfortably. I see her whole body freeze up. She knows. S**t.
    "Why exactly did you die?" she whispers. I sigh, and chuck a nearby glass bottle into the river.
    "Jayneee...you know I wasn't really 'straightedge, right?" I ask. She rolls her eyes. Of course she knows. Right. "Well...that guy? Who stabbed me? Psycho."

~Jane~

What is he getting at...

~Rake~
   "He was my drug dealer. We were good friends. And..." I look away off into the gray sky overhead. "I...he...he thinks I killed his sister."

~Jane~

  Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod...
  
    "...Did you?"

~Rake~

  "Not exactly," I put my head in my hands. "We were both baked. She decided to jump take a dip in the river. I watched. She drowned. I was too high to save her." Now I'm crying. I lie on my back, staring up at the underneath of the bridge.

~Jane~
  "An eye for an eye."

~Rake~
 
   I laugh. "Terribly depressing, eh?"  She nods. She lies next to me. I think I feel her body warmth, but I know it's just my imagination. She places her hand where mine should be real.
    "I forgive you," she says.

~Jane~

   I think it's a lie at first. But I see how sorry he is. And it's not like I'm going to hold grudges against a dead guy. Plus, I think he's already gotten his consequences.

~Rake~

   "Now that I'm dead, I feel truly alive," I say. She looks at me, confused. "Well, now I see that all of this stuff wasn't right for me. I can move on now, and I will."
 
   "I guess this means goodbye," Jane says. I shrug.
   "Maybe. But you know it won't be. I'll show up somehow. And I'm always watching, Jaynee."
   "Even at the worst of times?"
   "Even at the worst of times."

Author's Note

Yes, that was a reference to Dead Like Me. Shuddup :D

I don't really like this one. Don't know why. Read, rate, and review anyways.

Reviews

[Bella-Marie]

It's such a lovely story, sad and moving but beautifully written. I enjoyed it immensley. Well done.

[roarke]

What's not to like? I think the presentation and framing of the bit was more interesting than the story itself. Are they talking? thinking? Talking with,at or aside from each other?
Lots of possibilities and a difficult narrative to handle.
It's original and deserves working out.
As for "dead like me" I liked that show and there were many story arcs not covered by it, slants like this one they could have developed.
Don't shy away from experimenting and taking a chance, your talent and abilities will always grow from it.
Don't be too hard on yourself.