Evident Mercy

Mercy is the epitome of blessing

I have seen dark, starless nights

I have even seen my own blood flow

My world was changed to a sorry plight

Even now I limp from when life dealt its blow

The voices in my head screamed for more than my life

They shrieked for my soul

To them there could never be enough strife

They wouldn't stop until my heart smoldered like coal

But I have been reborn!

Now my eyes are open and I see the sun shining bright

As I now see the ocean teeming with life

Death has lost its seeming inevitable bite

And I have thrown away the inescapable knife

In God I gave my trust

And he did not let me down

He wiped away all the dust

As he did not leave me to drown

For I have been reborn!

Author's Note

A collaboration with Dannyisawriter

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like how you used words. A complete story in the poem in so few words.
"In God I gave my trust
And he did not let me down
He wiped away all the dust
As he did not leave me to drown"
Mercy is a good thing. We are saved to be able to save another. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Riley Justine]

Thanks for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

this is really good
it's like a hymn
an enjoyable read

[Jack Wolfe]

This was a good read, a somber, depressive mind, inching closer to self inflicted death. A moment of clarity and revelation opened eyes which were once blind (God is great at that), restored faith, not only in life, but granted the ability to be 'reborn' and to start anew. I love the message in this piece, a few minor issues to consider—I'll leave meter to those who are better versed in it that I.

Your line, 'They Shrieked for my soul' disrupted the flow, try and keep a fluent rhythm with your lengths of verses and stanzas, unless they are abrupt or dropped for a reason.

'Now my eyes have opened and I can see the sun shining bright' this line is too long winded, try and condense it to be concise.

Overall: it was well written, good rhyme patterns, and delivered a good message, well done.

I hope this helps:

[Riley Justine]

The line "They shrieked for my soul" is not supposed to be fluent with rest. It was meant to cut in a prove a strong point of how depression really feels. Thanks for the criticism though :)