10-27-15

blood slowly ran from my nose 

and then down in between my breasts.

i had them bared that night,

careful to play the part of Mia Wallace well.

i hadn't been that excited in a while-

to see faces other than my own,

to see a familiar one id been missing,

to drink myself into oblivion. 

the second i arrived, i practically ran.

i ran to the voices of fun,

to the voices of comfort,

to the voices of another audience,

leaving my shoffer in the darkness.

as i approached all that i could hear, 

her face was the first i saw,

my sweet Olivia.

i threw myself around her, eyes closed,

like a too tired koala.

now i can not recall 

a single time

that i opened my eyes during a hug,

before this very moment.

and when i performed the unusual,

my eyes opened up to what i thought

was Jesus himself. 

i think my exact words 

rammed into Liv's ear were,

"who the f**k is that?"

and naturally, 

she responded with a snarky,

"really, Trashley? you've been here thirty seconds"

in the very slight moment

that i had the guts to grip a gaze

with this unspeakable man, 

my pulse had blasted for the stars,

my pits had wet themselves,  

and my stomach had performed six summer salts, 

through a ring of fire.

being someone of entirely no shame,

this was extremely odd.

it is certainly difficult to  

make my knees weak,

make my fingers jittery,

and throw my tongue to the neighborhood cat.

but i couldn't look away.

i couldn't calm my stomach.

i started wondering if my hair looked fine,

and if he understood my costume.

i didn't know his name,

his sexual orientation,

his date of birth,

or even his favorite color.

all i knew is what i saw-

a man in a slightly loose suit,

wearing a gentleman's hat,

and quite the sophisticated pair of glasses.

but his aura was more careless than that.

he was relaxed,

dirtier than the costume led on.

his shaggy hair and unkempt face assured me of that,  

and all i could do was stand and stare,

while my heart screeched from inside of my chest.

i could feel it attempting to climb up my throat,

and out through my mouth.

did i just fall in love

in four f*****g seconds?