Reckless Nostalgia

It still hurts to hear your name

Every polite conversation that casually brings you up

I have to pretend it doesn't bother me

That its not another tiny cut in a long line of tiny cuts

But I've gotten really good at hiding pain

I've had practice

I laugh it off, I tell people I dodged a bullet

I tell people how much better my life is without you

I don't think about you everyday anymore

Though on my off weeks when I am at my lowest

You cross my mind more often than you don't

Your laughter doesn't taunt my memory anymore

I don't have episodes of painful nostalgia 

When I listen to the music you showed me anymore

But you pop up every now and then

I hear your voice singing along

I see you in the smiles of other girls

The same smile that you gave me

The one that said "no storm is too dark"

I see your fire in someone else's eyes

The fire that gave me courage

Even when I was terrified

I won't say I want you back

Enough time has passed that I have moved on

Those scars are starting to fade but will never fully be gone

But you're still in my heart somewhere

When I finally closed that door I moved on

I locked it tight, barricaded it, and threw away the key

It holds back a flood of careless emotion

Of impulsive passion and reckless nostalgia

It won't be reopened

But you still knock from time to time

A soft, echoing knock that haunts my memory

And I'll think of what you're up to

And I sincerely hope your life is happy

Reviews

[Amber Stone]

Amazing Letter-Form-Prose, Elias, this is a great literary style to go. thank U for the confidence sharing your work with us. sincerely, Amber

[Elias Kovats]

Thank you very much! I appreciate that!!!