Happiness

To find happiness and to be

Then denied of that happiness.

Can one be expected to retrieve

That happiness and start again?

Happiness, once found-

Is where happiness must lie.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but I think you could cut the 'thy' in line four. It's fine to use that kind of language, but when you don't support it in the rest of the piece it distracts the reader and somewhat detracts from the poem as a whole. In addition, I feel like you could really expand on this piece a lot more - as it stands, it's a little simple and one-dimensional, which is definitely not what you were going for. Also, I'd consider replacing 'happiness' in some of the lines with 'joy' or similar, because it's a little wordy as-is. Other than that, well done.

[Khristian Burkhart]

I actually was going for simple and one-dimensional and purposely repeated "happiness" for emphasis. I tend to use "thy," "thine," etc. too much and should change that. Thank you.

[Inspiring Writer]

That's a deep write, i'm impressed reading the write. Glad to learn something new from someone in this way too. Keep writing.