New Year

We watched the ball drop together

A room of hope

My prospects listless

A smile so dull

Amongst the crowd

Of illuminated eyes

I couldn't feel your touch

I couldn't hear your words

I was a stranger to your love

I could only watch the motions

SPinning  with the room

As I fell to the floor

But no one saw me, no one caught me

Because they were all too consumed with the moment

 

We watched me fall together

A recluse, desintegrating into a black hole

Trying to peak out from the depths of depression

But always falling back in, never able to quite escape

Everyone told me

That I could do it

That I was worth it

That I would succeed

But I wanted no part of it

I only wanted part in my own misery

A world of isolation and twisted joy

Although no one knew

Of my true plans

 

We watched the time pass together

As everything changed

Yet I remained the same

Trapped, secluded, stagnant

In a world so dark

Expectations didn't matter

Because I was so withdrawn

Eyes only on me

Eyes only on the prize

Eyes slowly closing

Hoping to remain closed

Forever more

 

And we both cried together

The day that they finally did close

My tears falling from heaven

Meeting yours on the cold December ground

Freezing as they contracted the chill of the earth

The chill of my soul

The chill of your pain

The chill of the loss

But I'll still watch the ball drop with you

Because while my life is old, this year is new