Set In A Weird Womb

Set In A Weird Womb

A Poem by T.S. Claus

The orphan became a mother in a lonely car

On the side of dirt roads she conceived two baggage

That she tugged behind her a*s

The straining weight of what she didn't use

And she never almost left them at the airport

The orphan used the word Love

Motherhood had made false smiles she shone

While the shoe fell on the boy

She was afraid of being seen near that

And she used that baggage less and less

He was set in his ways 

Screwed up ugly brain is disgusting

Nothing new fit there in any crack of the Son

So looking like a barely-body in the Sunny Spring

She wrote on scrap paper that she was sad

The boy's deadpan expressions like a suicidal picture book 

Raising boys make red-haired-hot-head's caveman-angry

A Mother who wonder-ticked and shook while chiefing cigarettes

Can't love you because you'll never be a perfect cousin to her family

What an ugly garden growing weeds like Tulips or Rosebushes

She is supposed to be loved

Having heaved me from her weird womb 

She is troubled because I am just like her

© 2016 T.S. Claus

Author's Note

T.S. Claus
Be honest I guess?

My Review

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Dunno...I suspect that you have intent for the meaning that never made it to the page, from my viewpoint, and left me reading lines that didn't have linkages to emotion generating context, or each other. A lot of the story you envision seems to depend on the reader already knowing your intent and the story you envision, if they are to have context.

Posted 6 Years Ago

Interesting, refreshing word choice, very odd.
"The boy's deadpan expressions like a suicidal picture book."
This line was my favorite.
Well done~

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

T.S. Claus

6 Years Ago

Thank you! One of my favorite lines here too!
Pretty great! I really like the strange feeling I get reading it.

Posted 8 Years Ago

T.S. Claus

6 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it and that it evoked an emotional response for you! Thank you for reading and .. read more
I really liked this!
I love it!
Keep up the great work!!

Posted 8 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 8, 2016
Last Updated on May 8, 2016
Tags: poetry, prose, poems, mother, son, family, orphan, lonely, childbirth, womb, spring, boy, motherhood, suicidal


T.S. Claus
T.S. Claus

Detroit, MI

Tyler S. Claus, studying journalism in Detroit, Michigan. I write Short Stories, screenplays, News Articles (Satire), Poems and Prose, and hope to strengthen my abilities in all aspects of writing w.. more..

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