Short Straws

Short Straws

A Poem by tynamite
"

Why does life deal us the short straws so when we try to solve our problems, we can to some extent, but there are walls?

"
If only I knew,
what it was,
that made people,
make such a fuss.
Because all my life,
I've been given short straws.
Trying so hard,
and following the laws.
We try to do things together,
but there are walls.
Nobody is at fault here,
differences and groupings are the cause.
You see me everyday,
doing more than I should.
When my life is better, funky fresh and cris,
you will ask me how the hell I got this?

© 2010 tynamite


Author's Note

tynamite
The first half of this poem is an extract of a song that I wrote. It goes "People are acting funny when they see me. Like I go planning what I wanna go be."

I do not write poems, I write stories. I'm only submitting this as I didn't have to write it from scratch.

Cris is a slang word that UK people use to say that everything is all good.

My Review

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Reviews

I can identify with this one. Sorry you had to go through so much, but don't let it cause bitterness. I speak from expierence, & I am still dealing with forgiveness myself, but you will be able to reach so many people with your rhymes. Keep it up!

Posted 13 Years Ago


this is a really nice poem and it had a great message to it. it flowed really well and the rhyming was good. the only issue i can say i have is that your note is about three times the length of the actual poem. i think you could have turned a lot of your explanation into stanzas themselves so your explanation of the whole thing wouldn't be quite as long. they say a truly great writer doesn't need to explain his work. that his work should speak for itself. but this was a good poem nonetheless

Posted 13 Years Ago


i like it its realy nice

Posted 13 Years Ago


This poem has great flow, as well as meaning. Such true words you speak here:

"We try to do things together,
but there are walls.
Nobody is at fault here,
differences and groupings are the cause."

This is what plagues us today... so many barriers; social barriers, language, class, race, religion, etc. This is a nice piece. I like the hip-hop style you flavor this with.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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148 Views
14 Reviews
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Added on June 9, 2010
Last Updated on June 10, 2010
Tags: straws, life

Author

tynamite
tynamite

Birmingham, England, United Kingdom



About
Hello peepz! I write novels and short stories in the "urban life" genre going for the "thought provoking" style. You could call it realism, but even romance and crime novels can be realistic, so I.. more..

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