My First and Last Love

When I was young I had the vision that I would marry you someday and we would live happily until our hair grow white
Now I laugh thinking back to my naivety
I loved you so much.  I would do anything for you
All you had to do was tell me to jump I would respond 'How high?'.

In the beginning, I told myself that you would learn and get to love me as the years go by

Haha looking up at the sky, the twinkling stars that I've longed to see
I thought, ' How foolish of me to think that way, how foolish of me to think that he would ever love me?'
After all these years I should have noticed the signs 
The signs that you and everyone around were giving me.

But I was too naive to think that you would ever love me back

I remember  the only one who loved me unconditionally was Scoot, my cat, or rather it was our cat
No matter how selfish, how wrong, how sad, how much hate I would feel he would always be the one there for me without a judging hypocritical look
But that all came to an end when he was taken away from me.  I should have seen the signs from then but I was so stubborn to believe in you that I ignored it.

Now looking up at the calm night sky for the final time I wonder if my parents are disappointed in me.

The child that was born and raised by them went behind their back marrying the one they loath the most
My eyes blurred as I thought about all the wrongs that I had done to you both
My brothers and sisters, I wonder if you are happy?  Maybe this is the retribution I must face for all the evils I've done.

My body is starting to feel cold as I feel warm liquid pooling around my body

I know my time is coming soon, but I still want to see your face for one last time
I want to see the face of the man that I loved for more than six years with all my heart, the man that took away everything I loved, the man that hurt and tore me to pieces
The man who is still in my heart up to this moment
To find out if you ever had me in your heart

Although I already know the answer and I know that it will hurt I still want to know before I leave this world

As the world vanishes into nothing I see my parents and my two little children of what they would grow up to be with a bright smile and their outstretched hands to me calling me
I smile and hold up my heavy hand, my vision going blurry as I see a figure running towards me until I see your tense, worried, and crying face for the last time
I placed my hands on your face trying to remember the feel and print your face in my mind as I closed my eyes for the last time feeling the warm long-lasting embrace of my parents and my children with my cold and empty body in your trembling arms.