Depression/Regression

Today I have some what regressed
I am sad lonely and depressed
An average life I want to lead
Now in that I can't believe
So I am suspended in space
How to get out there's no trace
Dodging the paths I've known so well
Only to fall in this immortal hell
I pray to God and I weep
Please help me out or put me to sleep
Your Glory and Love are so divine
Won't you close your hand right around mine
At the fire we both can stare
Seeing clear through but nothing is there
Now the tears run down my cheek
I am a man that's really weak
The fire nor seems to escalate
Maybe this will just be my fate
No matter what I'm not afraid
Peace with God I've already made!
 

 

 

An Uncle Charlie Original

Reviews

[Violet Rose]

So I am suspended in space
How to get out there's no trace
Dodging the paths I've known so well
Only to fall in this immortal hell

My favorite lines.

I like how the message slowly transitioned, and I could see the individual stanzas of sub-categorized moods, if you will, in the poem, where the first tells the reader how you feel, to the degree of which you feel it, to a plea to escape from this mood. So, even if it looks small from the outside, it is actually jam-packed with meaning.

My only suggestion is to shorten the line

"Won't you close your hand right around mine"

Saying it out loud, it doesn't taste right, being a tad long and tiring the end of the tongue. Perhaps:

Won't you close your hand 'round mine

But it's totally up to you, and that's just my silly opinion.

It was a great poem, and I wish you well. I hope your god lifts your spirits higher. Everything in life is merely perceived; nothing is concrete.