Peacock

This poem describes the mesmerizing beauty of the peacock which is one of nature's many wonders.

Deep into the woods,
The sweet smell of rain is in the air,
Shimmering wild flowers catch my eye,
My heart skips a beat,
As I glance at the peacock’s crown.

Majestically the peacock displays his fan,
Feathers of sapphire blue and emerald green,
A hundred eyes bejewel his trailing train,
His captivating dance fascinates me.

Like a king, he struts around,
With an air of pride and gaiety,
His cry is loud and clear,
That extols his grandeur.

 

Reviews

[William]

Feathers of sapphire blue & emerald green, = "sapphire blue and emerald green" ampersands add a really informal air to poetry.
A hundred eyes bejewel his trailing train, = this is such a brilliant line. it's captivating. great job.
With an air of pride & gaiety, = "pride and gaiety"
His cry is loud & clear, = "loud and clear"

besides these few changes, I really, really love this poem. and the line "A hundred eyes bejewel his trailing train" is still my favorite line of a lot of the poems I've read.
So congrats, good job, and maybe make those changes? Also, great description.
Either way. =]
Thanks,
--William

[deeps]

This is wonderful and beuatiful
I like this write.