'PAST' the silent beginning- who i am, why i am

just read and see it.

 “No one can change past, but the past can change anything”

It’s the only answer for all the questions of my life forever.

 

“Nothing is new in the morning, except the hope which can make everything new” It’s the day when I wake up early in the morning, like the days when I wake up with the new hope with the new first ray of light and with the very first pure breath which I inhale, the day when I come out from my dreams, my dreams the world of myself which Is made by my own nature of my thoughts those are higher than blue sky and deeper than the ocean, the world where all the homes(buildings) are made of the red bricks, the bricks those are made by my deeper thoughts, those are dried in the blood and furnace of my heart, when I leave the heaven of my dreams, the dreams where everything is done by my wish, the dreams those are the only beginning of finding myself into the heart of mine, and the day when I want to do everything new at a first time, when I want to live every breath of mine, when I want to enjoy each moment of time, when I feel a bit strength of my dreams in my life, when I want to go back on the way on which I traveled my life yet and standing here to look backward,

 

“Never try to find yourself, because you will be lost in yourself” After look backward I sit alone and try to make a new schedule of my life, the schedule in which I will have time for all I have, the schedule in which I will at least try to understand people, the schedule which is fully dedicated to serve others not to preserve for myself, the schedule in which I will be available for all, the schedule when I will walk all alone, the schedule to dream for a long, the schedule to plan my life, the schedule to jump in the deepest ocean, the schedule to fly higher than the sky, the schedule to gaze the sky and stars too, the schedule to see the beauty of nature and miracles too, the schedule to think about the mistakes which I ever did, the schedule to think about unspoken words and the untouched pains of my life,  and, the schedule to jump in my heart and die into flooded blood too,

 

Whenever I do this, I go to the biggest philosopher of world which named “heart”, it’s not mine not yours, its only the heart, the heart whose the only and true philosopher in the world, the philosopher who can share it’s words with the true feelings, and the feelings those have the infinite worth, and I start to lose, lose and lose me in myself.

 

 

 

“No one can change past, but the past can change anything” when I lose me in myself, when I amazed at me, I start to gaze at me; I start to think the feeble thoughts and to find the answers “why I got much more than I deserved?”  And these all thoughts push me down into my heart, the thoughts those are feeble but everything to me, these all my thoughts force me to lose much more in myself and into the deepest of heart’s ocean, the ocean where I want to jump and want to stay there forever, the ocean in which I want to die and want to buried into the layers of blood, and then I go to the depth of my heart, the place which is wet by my internal flooded tears, and the place which is hurt a lot and broken by hurt. And when I reach the bottom part of my heart, I start to think about the pains which I have ever got, the pains which hurt me a lot whenever I thought about them, the moments when you left me all alone, the moment when I was crying in the rain, the pain when you treated me like a third person and the pain when I cried for long, when the unspoken words hurt me a lot and hit at the inner walls of my heart, when the close eyes broke the walls of my heart, the untouched pains when I was killing me in myself, and the pain which forced me to alive, and the pain after which I forced myself to lose me in myself.

I don’t know who I was, why I was,,, and I also don’t know who I am, why I am but I know only one thing each past day of your life is the silent beginning of who you are, why you are,

Because your past will convert your greatest pains into the biggest strengths of your life, so "no one can change the past, but the past can change anything."

Author's Note

i don't know its a story or an article,, and i really don't know why i wrote this,,
but tell me if you like and tell me if you don't like it too,, so i will try to write better :)