Fading Footsteps

this is about being your own worst enemy

                     Fading Footsteps
Whispers of memory strum  their chords,
Over my  befuddled mind,
Echoes of  emotion tantalize my  senses,
Your scent so familiar, washes over me,
Wrapping me in its swirling shroud.

 

I know that you love me ,
The truth of this tatooed on your  eyes,
The truth  resounding in your words,
But the reality of me is never simple,
Never easy ,never permanent.

 

I dare not court happiness,
As my ability to sabotage myself is epic,
I trust you but I do not trust me,
For in the blink of the eye I am the sweetest angel,
Wrapping you in the haven of my wings.

 

But I beseech you do not blink!
Because the shrew inside that thinks I am a freak,
Will assault you with her venomous ramblings,
Drawing blood with her acidic tongue,
And you will inevitably like  all before.

 

Turn away with utter resignation ,
As the tears of my own summoning,
Fall unheeding ,their course countless times charted,
It cannot be expected that I would possess the tools to love another,
When I cannot love myself with any conviction.

                         by vidya

 

Author's Note

say something

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"It cannot be expected that I would possess the tools to love another,
When I cannot love myself with any conviction."
The above words are true wisdom. You must like yourself to have the ability to love another. Usually we are our worst enemy in the emotion and giving of love. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you for your kind words indeed they re the truth :)

[Veronica DiMarco]

explicit, wonderful work!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you for your wonderful review:)

[Chris Rampersad]

HAHAHA! You is ever ah sweet angel? Oh god this so funny. SWEET ANGEL! As usual good work. lol. Sweet angel me foot.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are a*s brother of mine is'nt there a clockwork mouse or something that is eagerly awaiting you to write a story about him and his clockwork family haha

[Chris Rampersad]

Haha. I goin and show u husband.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Whatever!!!!!!!!

[Rita L. Sev]

This is beautiful; a tug at the heart that says what so many of us have felt.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you very much this is the reality of life sometimes:)

[Joiedevivre]

I know what it is to sabotage and self destruct and i often wonder why we take it all out on ourselves, some of us! You have captured this here very well, and i can especially relate to the last lines of the poem. We must heal ad unite ourselves before we can truly love another. Funnily, pets can help us experience this kind of pure love which heals our own rifts within.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you so much your words mean a real lot because you are an awesome poet:)

[Joiedevivre]

thank you so much, and so are you! xox

[sonnie ibadah]

wow....this is beautiful, loving but not sure if you yourself are worthy being loved. great poem!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you sonnie this is right .If you can't love yourself how will you love anyone else?

[sonnie ibadah]

it's so true, that feeling of unworthiness that you have in your heart won't let you open up to them.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Very much so

[ron]

OMG this makes my heart beat faster. I know how it feels to doubt your self in love. I don't think you could ever hurt anyone.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you so much ron.We all have the capacity to hurt those we love that is why we have to be very careful that the part of us that thinks we are not good enough does not make us lose those we love by pushing them away.

[ron]

Very true Vidja.

[ProCoacoa]

This is just wow. Its so beautifully written and I just cannot get enough of it. Ive read it countless times before writing this. The last two lines are truly haunting, and they will stay with me for a while.

Again, beautiful.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you so much for your lovely words i am very grateful:)

[00000000000000000000000..]

You speak volumes of depth, A music plays in ones mind, but the melody is what chords they pick to play, Metaphorically speaking that is. I love it:)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you very much!!!

[0000000000000000000000000000]

You are so very welcome and I am very sorry it took me so long to respond , I haven't been here.

[Vidya Bacchus]

It is fine:)

[A]

This is so powerfull!
And you chose this so-true-and-hard-to-take ending: “It cannot be expected that I would possess the tools to love another; When I cannot love myself with any conviction."

[Vidya Bacchus]

Thank you so much anabela for your kind words!

[A]

You are welcome :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"the ability to sabotage myself" has always been epic for me too...
you wrote me here...all the years of not trusting because of the devastation of the first marriage failing

i remember this all too well...

nicely penned.

jacob

[Vidya Bacchus]

I have also felt this way sometimes like I go out of my way to wreck all that is good in my life.Thank you jacob:)