Fishbowl

A poem assembled out of a stream-of-consciousness.

Try to think of orange in the fishbowl of loneliness.

We cannot do this beautiful war,

true hate in the end:

revolution of the fruit xylophone on a build of knowledge,

anarchy in the good of the people,

Remorse is punishment when death is better than life but then

people have power but done this before.

Author's Note

Whaddaya think?

Reviews

[Red]

Let me begin with saying that this is a little choppy. I'm not familiar to stream of consciousness poems, but I get the idea. Assuming that this only took 10 mins, I can understand that it has flow problems. Also, I'm a little confused by the randomness. First you talk about orange in a fishbowl (a fish?") of lonelyness, then a "fruit xylophone." I have trouble trying to get an imagine in my head and what the poem is trying to say beneath it's rather spur-of-the-moment structure. Not your best but then again, it was kind of on the spot.
-Red

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