GAZING IN THE EYES OF MY SIRE

Not so long before he died
When he decided to have me
I saw a solemn promise
When he opened his eyes

His eyes were small but became wide
Whenever he looked at me
With an eye of loving care which now miss
And for it now I apprise

He wiped my tears when I cried
And chased the hunger out of me
He made sure I had all my peace
Through his bright eyes I could analyze

Not so long before he applied
All his plans for me
Before his dreams and life could kiss
When the wind blew him to the skies

Now he's gone leaving promises out they dried
More he had for me
But none I have
And it still pokes in my heart like a wire
When I remember the precious eyes of my sire

I was his pride
And he was mine too
I hardly saw his promises
When his eyes were closed
Unfortunately none were held in my hands

I try to cease the pain
But my tears still dropp like the rain
When I remember myself gazing in his eyes
The eyes of my sire.

Reviews

[zainul]

Your feeling also reminds my experience with my sire.
Thank you for sharing the emotional piece.
Let your sire enjoy eternal peace.

[Walani Ndhlovu]

thank u 4 reading

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is quite good and really tugs at the heartstrings...a couple of typos, but other than that...nicely done.
the 4th stanza is especially good...
the last two lines of that one are really keepers...

whole poem is...just check a few spots of spelling and awkward phrasing...


but quite a nice effort here.

jacob

[Walani Ndhlovu]

Ah the only problem is that I haven't learn about typos yet, but thanks. I'll ask my teacher to teach me about that. thank you very much jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like the rhyme pattern in this...well done there.

[Hey Hey Renee]

I love the wording in this. I love this overall. Great work!

[Walani Ndhlovu]

Oh! thanks for your admiration.