Chapter Thirteen: Sooner Than You Think

It was currently December 2 and Christmas was already fast approaching.  More importantly, today was officially my birthday.  I still couldn't believe how the year was flying by.  Beginning high school in August, meeting Andi my first day, finally finding out Dave was gay and dating Xavier in early September, worrying- still worrying about Jenni, spending my days with Andi, thinking about Andi, talking about Andi...  I admit it.  Andi's almost become the center of my world.  Every moment I'm not with him I find myself thinking about him or worse yet talking about him and annoying everyone else in the within vicinity of my voice.  I'll confess, I'm falling hard and fast.  I can't say we don't fight a lot.  I get super emotional and he has a short temper but when its good, its really good.  It's better than good.  It's freaking amazing.  Andi's amazing.  Speaking of which...

"Hey babe," I answered my cell with a smile on my face.

"Hey pretty girl.  Happy Birthday!"

I could almost see the smile that I knew would be on Andi's face if he was here with me instead of simply on the phone with me.

"Thanks, how's it going over there?"

"Not much, I just woke up actually and I thought of something."

"What's that?"

"Today's our three month anniversary!  And I figured with it being your birthday too why don't I get everyone together and we can all go out to dinner?  And then maybe after you and me can do something special to celebrate."

I grinned.  Today actually was our three month anniversary and I couldn't believe I had forgotten!  I gave a mental shrug, not like Andi would have to find that little piece out...

"That sounds really good actually.  How about we split it?  I'll call Dave, who'll tell Xavier, no doubt so no need to call him and I'll call Crystal since you don't know her too well.  That leaves you with Michelle and Jen.."

I stopped as I almost spoke my best friends name and tears automatically flushed.  As good as things were with Andi, Jenni had been missing for a month.  No one seemed to know where she was and whenever we called her house her mother would simply say she had "gone away for awhile to visit her aunt in Germany".  Of course, none of us actually believed her and the main fault being I knew for a fact that Jenni didn't have an aunt in Germany.  So why would Mrs. Harkani lie to us?  We were only kids and as far as I knew neither of her parents were involved with the government.  Jenni had simply disappeared and a day wouldn't go by that I wouldn't worry and think of where she could be.

I quickly covered up my slip with a laugh, hoping I didn't sound too fake, "Ha ha, oh and invite some of your friends for once.  You never ask them to hang out with us and I've only ever met one of your friends!  Considering its been three months I think it's time to finally introduce them to the girlfriend!"

I laughed again but still wondered to myself if he caught my mistake and why he always seemed to reject the idea of me meeting his friends.

"Alex.."

"Let it go."

I could hear the resistance in his voice but he let a quiet, "Alright.", slip by.

"M'kay, well I'm gonna go for a bit but call me when you're coming to pick me okay?"

"Yep, I'll call 15 mins before like always."

"Sounds good.  Later babe."

"Bye love."

I listened to last words of his goodbye as he hung up and flopped my back onto my bed sighing.  Jenni.  Hiding- Attempting to hide my feelings from Andi.  Andi.  Love. 

I knew a huge part of my heart was Andi's indefinitely and I knew I loved him but was I in love with him?

"Ugh," I groaned rolling myself over onto my stomach and hoisting myself up to stand, pushing all thoughts from my mind.  I really didn't want to think about anything anymore.  I at least loved him and that had to be good enough, right?

"Hey Alex?" I heard Chris yell up the stairs.

"Yeah?  Whatcha need?"

"Somebody's here to see you!"

"Kay, actually I'm not dressed yet so can you just let them in and tell them to come up in like five?"  I asked as I went over to my dresser and pulled a tee and sweats out, happy for a distraction.  Just as I finished putting the shirt on, I heard my door being opened.  I turned, a soft gasp escaping my lips as my smile tipped crookedly into surprise.

Speak of the devil..

"...Jenni?"

"Hey.."

She looked nervous and she was looking down at her feet, not meeting my eyes as she stood there quietly before looking up.

"I..  I need to talk to you.  And you might want to sit down for this.."

I couldn't help the slight exclamation that escaped under my breath when her eyes meet my own.  Her eyes seemed sunken in almost and her hair thinner than usual.  What struck me most was the pure exhaustion that read clear through her entire body.

"And why should I listen?"

I mentally slapped myself at the quick remark, instantly regretting the obvious pain I caused.  I couldn't help but feel bitter for her attitude towards me in the past months and then her disappearance in the last but I had the feeling that this was something important.  I knew it was important.  It just seemed my emotions were getting the better of me as of lately.

I instantly attempted to fix my mistake, "Sorry!  That's not what I meant..  Here sit with me, we can talk,"  I amended, quickly plopping down upon my bed once more and patting a spot next to me.

She moved slowly and with apparent fatigue.  My worry for her kept growing and somehow I knew, I had to believe, that this day would change my life forever.  Something big was happening and a sickening dread was telling me it was out of my control.

Jenni finally made her way to my side, slipping into the place I'd left her with ease and resting comfortably against my side as she had numerous times in the past when things had been better, normal.  I felt tears swell as my fear of the unknown, untold, grew.

"Jen?" I asked as she looked up to me, spotting the tears distressed, "What's going on?  These past months..  I feel like I barely even know you anymore and it hurts that you haven't even bother to acknowledge that I'm alive.  I just..  Jenni, what's wrong?  Please.."

"I want to say first off.. just sorry, god, Alex, sorry for everything and anything," She paused to catch her breath which I noted immediately with concern before she continued, "And before you ask or mention it, I know you, everyone even, has been wondering where I've been for the past month.  And I hoped I would never have to tell you.  I thought I could spare you all the trouble of my own fate.."

By now tears were pouring down and each word was becoming a struggle for her to say.

"Jenni.." I pulled her into a hug against me as she shushed me beginning to speak again.

"No..  I'm not done.  I, Alex, I can never apologize enough for hurting you but, please, believe me, I thought at the time it would be for the best.  I, where I was, it was hard but you have to know everyday I was thinking of you, of everyone, all our friends.  And you guys were the reasons I kept fighting.  You kept me strong and every phone call my mom told me about was bittersweet.  I don't know if I would have made it as far as I have if not for you.  But now.."

She sobbed harshly, unable to go on.

"Now..  I don't know how much time I have left.  I just know that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my time with family and friends.  I want to love and be loved with what I have left.  I need to live before it's too late.."

I forced Jenni's face to mine and looked into her eyes, pleading, "Jenni, please, what?  What is it?  Whatever it is, you're not going to die anytime soon, I promise.  Just, babe, please tell me what's wrong."

I was scared beyond belief as she opened her mouth to say the one word that would destroy my world in an instant.