it always seems to happen this way.

I honestly don't really know what to say. 

If you were here with me right now,

I'd probably hug you tight,

Hope you didn't notice my tears. 

 

Then most likely I'd start sobbing uncontrollably,

You would ask me what was wrong.

I would struggle to tell you. 

 

Theres so many things in my mind right now,

Even I'm not sure what's going on. 

I just know I'm not okay,

Maybe I haven't been for awhile.

 

I just need something from you,

Anything. 

I want to know I matter. 

 

I kept my mouth shut when you said terrible things,

How no one would notice if I disappeared,

But I don't know how much longer I can be so silent. 

That hurt more than anything anyones ever said to me. 

 

And yet, oddly enough,

Because I consider you to be one of the most important people in my life,

I say nothing. 

 

Now, I'm beginning to wonder,

Would someone who loved me say such a thing? 

Even if they believed in their heart it was true,

Could one wish to bear that pain upon another?

 

I can't say I know someone,

Other than the obvious you,

Who would. 

 

I could never. 

How can we be.. "best friends" 

I'm failing to understand this,

What should be simple concept, any longer.

And a simple little truth,

Because I'm feeling particularly mean and uncaring,

A trait no doubt you bestowed upon me. 

 

If he showed the slightest interest in me,

I wouldn't mind taking him from you. 

Gladly, perhaps I could save him,

From your misgivings and wrongdoings. 

 

But perhaps not. 

Whether you realize it or not,

He is one of the good. 

 

One of the few guys I feel comfortable around,

Trust not to take advantage of me. 

Relationships for me have always been a sore spot,

Guys intimidate me beyond all reason. 

 

Frighten me to the point where I can't move,

Can't think,

Can't live. 

 

I think he could be different.

More so,

I know he's different,

The kind of so rare to find.

You just can't seem to see what you have.

You get angry with me,

I let it slide. 

 

You upset me,

I never say a word. 

I'm dying inside,

You smile and you laugh. 

 

I'm finally ready to say,

I'm done. 

I'm done. 

 

Never again will I let your angry words harm me. 

Never again will I stay silent. 

Never again will I fall apart to your undoing. 

Never again will I be your silent, obedient pushover.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very well written and said.. second poem like this i have read.. seems many women are getting tired of the crap.. this makes me think of someone i know .. well written, i enjoyed it.

Chloe
xoxo