Wishes

I love nature

She lays on her bed and stares out her bedroom window
At the giant tree in her front yard
She watches as the long green branches sway in the wind,
They are peaceful, and free,
And she wishes to be that way

 

She looks right above the tree 
At the vivid yellow sun,
And how it illuminates the whole sky,
She sees how beautiful and feels how warm it is,
And she wishes to be that way

 

She looks next to the sun,
At the great blue sky,
And see’s how open and free it is,
Though it changes everyday
It’s always there,
And she wishes to be that way

 

She looks down at her windowsill,
And sees a little ant,
It’s hard at work for its family,
Its little brown body can handle so much
And still survive,
And she wishes to be that way

 

She turns away from the window,
And she closes her eyes,
She realizes she motivated by the simple things,
She knows what she wants,
And she's glad to be that way.

Author's Note

I went way out of my comfort zone on this one, and I wrote this on a whim, i hope you like this, i added the cloud verse last minute, im not sure if it goes fully, so give me your comments, please review.

Reviews

this flowed really well, you paint a good picture in my nind

[Sarah]

This is really great! Wonderful! I love the way it flows! Beautiful!

[Miss Coral]

Nice piece- the repetition works really well. I would consider perhaps broadening your word choice, but otherwise, I think this was great. Nice job. :)

-Coral-

[Bee]

beautiful!! I loved the way you described your surroundings.. there's this serenity I feel after reading, which I think is a good effect. :p

"She looks next to the sun,
At the great blue sky,
And see’s how open and free it is,
Though it changes everyday
It’s always there,
And she wishes to be that way"

my favorite part. very meaningful and touching. job well done. :)

[raining]

the first stanza is exceptional. i feel it. you are the sway of your tree, by seeing it you are being it. the second stanza begins to give the reader a feel of "mythic imagination" on the scale of a single talker. voice is good.

the next stanza, the "great blue sky" by your just saying this, makes it huge and spring-like in my (the readers) eye

then you talk about a little ant, I like the simplicity of the entire poem, simplicity orders your poem and populates it with it's storybookness

the last stanza brings you back and tells us something about yourself, very true and honest.... thanks raining.

[Steve]

Well done! I like how you tied this all together......nice job! And i agree too by the way.

[Hello, Elle]

Beautiful. You have that power to sort of illuminate the reader, make them captivated. I loved it!

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Don't get me wrong, I was laughing a lil bit after I saw the title...It's because I had wrote mine with the same title...

Good thing this one was rather different and very lovable....

"She turns away from the window,
And she closes her eyes,
She realizes she motivated by the simple things,
She knows what she wants,
And she's glad to be that way." awwww...such a darling...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh I love this... it just shows how inspirational nature is in teaching us how the simplicities of life are the best way to be happy.

[roarke]

I like the calm tone through out. It's like a lyrical "being in the now" exercise. The prose has a centering effect on the reader. (at least on me, lol) I think you can handle this "zone" just fine.