A Story by winnythepooh

im a beginner to this i know there grammar and spelling errors but i just love to write any feed back would be helpful



the night air felt like frozen daggers against Abigail freshly torn skin as she fondled her way through  the foreign woods. The only thing on Abigail’s mind was finding madam Rosaria, madam Rosaria could fix everything all of the mistakes she made including the one growing inside of her All she had to do was find her. She could fill her lungs gasping and pleading for her to stop but she knew the Forman and his men where behind her with their dogs.  Abigail went over the crudely drawn map in her head, “pass the large French moss covered cypress, around fanm ki pèdi mari (widow) bend ….”  The whole time she could feel the slave runner getting near …closer and closer the dogs where feet behind her Abigail could feel the semi developed fetus inside of her twist and turn. Her body felt like it was giving up then everything went black

Wake up child … reveye (wake up) ,  Abigail slowly opens her eyes afraid that she was dead or worse she could feel the prickly heat of a open fire against her skin and the strange smell of decomposing flesh .  Nothing around her look furmilure  , I must be in hell she thought . No girl you’re not in hell or at least I wouldn’t call it that came a voice from the darkness. Whos there Abigail screamed please don’t hurt me . shut up you silly girl do you want everyone to hear you do u want to be taken back to the plantation you ran from huh do you ? Abigail grew silent, I thought not the old woman cooed , now why are you hear … and speak up child my hearing is not as it should be. Abigail  looked at  the old woman and opened her mouth but the words would not come the old woman became unpatient  give me your hands bawked the old woman  her hands against abigails skin felt like cold stone a strange tingle went up her spine and she could see the woman’s eyes fade over

child to answer your question Im madam  Rosaria and yes you are safe hear for now I have seen why you have blessed me with your presence you want something that you cannot have … tsk tsk tsk  Abigail tore away her hand in shock but kept  her composure . I need yas  help , madam  Rosaria  I’s done went and gots myself in a whole heap of trouble, I’s give u anything I gots money Abigail thrust the money at madam  Rosaria  with pleading in her eye. Madam  Rosaria looks at the money in disgust pitit (child) I must know the reason to why you  have come, yes I could pull it from you but I believe its better for you to tell me

Abigail told madam  Rosaria her story and about the baby she was carrying. I don’t want this child … this thing madam  Rosaria I don’t want to be like my ma and pa , being sold to the next highest bidder being put on display and whipped like a beast of burden I want more . and what makes you think I can do this chile purred  Rosaria I  don’t have these powers you speak of you listen to to many fairy tales, if you want to get  rid or that liitle mistake you got you could have went to any medicine doctor instead of wasting my time. I know you can do it I know you can everyone knows you can   screamed Abigail  also every one also knows that those white men are looking for you they know you helped that n***a turner in those massacres  and I would hate for them to find you.

 Rosaria lets out a cynical laugh hahahaha …… ok pitit you think you gotten me … ME madam  Rosaria do u know I could kill you where u stand and feed you to the gators,I would do everyone a favor one less negra for everyone to worry about  Rosaria looks deep into Abigail  eyes , one black as coal and one blue as the heavens … ok pitit I will help you but  I must warn you becareful what you wish for.


Chapter one

  My manman (mother) was a proud woman and well respected throughout the  negro community. She was known for her herbs and potions that could cure almost any ailment.  Sometimes we would have so many people come to our modest little home, that I thought it would burst at the seams. My manman would take any one no matter how much money they had or what type of “class” you were in. My manman even treated the governor’s white wife.  My mother would say “there is no man, woman, or child, that should not be given the fair chance to make it in this world no matter whom he or she is”.  Sometimes I would sit back and watch her go from one patient to the other with such grace and poise that I thought she was dancing on clouds. There was hardly anything that could ruin my manman’s disposition, that was until my papa died. My manman was born free and my papa was a runaway slave;  neither of them talked much about their family  other than to tell me I was named after my grandmother  and that  manman’s  twin sister lived in the baton rouge. I only went to visit my aunt babet once since in my  since the day I was born her house was grand, she lived on a large estate with servents and winding staircases. My mama did not stay long that day because her and babet got in to some words  all I remember was my mamma telling her that it was her reponsibilty and that it was her time to own up to this family curse. I didn’t know what she ment until now.

Hurry up sophie you will miss the train yelled clara. Sophie gathered her pale green dree calico dress and ran thrue the corridors to catch up. Sophie was always one to daydream she could sit and stare in to space and be lost for hours but on thie particular day sophie had more on her mind then far away lands and fairytails; sophie longed for her mother. How could anyone soo special to sophie be taken aways so fast she thought what  will she do with out her mother. Sophie was lost. As the carriage slowly halted to a stop Sophie gathered her things and awaited the long journey to Louisiana.

The road was bumpy and tedious; Sophie counted down the time till she would be able to reunite with her remaining family. Things have been ruff for Sophie since her maman passed away from the fever and her daddy was caught and lynched. Sophie was alone now there was no one to hum lullabies’ to her. There was no one to sit down and gaze at the stars and tell her what she could become. There was only silence. Sophie’s carriage came to a sudden halt, “Next stop baton rouge”, voiced the conductor . Clara gathered Sophie’s mere belongings, “hurry chile we must find your matant” (aunt). Sophie felt as though she walked for hours before she came upon a  cove that held numerous plantations. One grander than the other, but nothing could compare to the marvelous home that was nestled between a pathways of southern magnolia trees. The beauty was too much to take in. It was more than a surprise when Clara took Sophie to the gate of this marvelous home. “Why are we hear Clara we must hurry and see aunt Babet before the sun sets”, Sophie exclaimed.  “Hush Chile Clara quipped now when we enter this gate u says nuttin u hears I won’t have these uppity Negros looking down on you.

Clara knocks on the door waiting for a answer; Sophie could feel the butterfly’s in her stomach.  Her mind was racing a million mile per minute “what if they don’t like me; what if they tell me to leave” Sophie was minutes away from running when the door opens. “May I help you?” said the butler.  He gave them a once over and a look of disgust came over his face “n****s and help are to enter thru the back, good day” as he prepared to close the door Clara forced herself in “  I have you mind ya manners when you talk to me, I'm here by invitation.  I must deliver madam Babette’s niece to her, and I would much like it if u don’t get in my way.”  Clara grabbed Sophie by her arm and held her close as though the look she was giving the butler would make the whole home crumble. “Now I suggest you go get her because we have other matters to discuss” the butler gave her a once over and gestured her towards the foyer. “I will tell madam you are here” I grabbed my things as Clara pulled my in to the foyer while mumbling curses under her breath. “Damn uppity Negros, just cuz they got a little money they think...”  “may I help you” came a demanding voice. Sophie turned around only to see one of the most beautiful woman she ever saw her hair was the color of ripe peaches and  skin as golden as s fawn, but her eyes where her most unique aspect out of it all. They were pale blue like her mamans.  Sophie opened her mouth but the words would not come out Babette must have sensed this because she turned towards with her piercing blue eye.  Babette’s look of disgust was no different from the butler.  If looks could kill Sophie would be dead on the spot. Babette clapped her hands twice and the butler approached “take her upstairs and show her to her room; make sure she has what she needs” Sophie grabbed her belongings and followed the butler. The butler was a stout short man with oily hair you could tell he was respected and well taken care of. They walked down a long corridor that seemed as though it would never end. The butler stopped at an elaborately carved door he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys he opens the door. Sophie could smell the musk of the old furniture.  Sophie steps in the room and engulfs herself in the finery and grander this was all new to her. When Sophie lived in Virginia she was accustomed to modest living her family lived in a 2 bedroom log cabin that was nestled within the southern woods. Most of their belongings were made by hand or given to them from the patients that she cared for. The only new belonging that meant anything to Sophie was a silver necklace that she was given when she turned 13. The necklace was something out of the ordinary it was a opal stone encased in turquoise and inside the opal stone was a strange language. But all of that didn’t matter now because everything in her new room was exquisite, everything from the marble vanity to the ebony poster bed. Sophie inspected  her  surroundings, it was more then she could take in.  “you are to make yourself presentable for dinner , which is at 7 sharp ms babet dose not allow tardiness” voiced the butler as he exited the room.  Sophie picked up her capet bag and placed it on her marbel vanity and started to unpack.sophie had no idea how she was going to fill her vanity with what little she had.  Sophie immerged her self in the softness of the down filled bed , wondering what would beome of her new future.


Chapter two

“Wake up child” cooed clair, as Sophie wiped the sleep from her eyes. I must have fallen asleep thought sophie.   Sophie looked out of the large picture window near her bed , she could see the sunlight peaking thought her crimson drapes.  We must.........( THIS IS WHERE I AM STUCK)


© 2016 winnythepooh

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, I NEED HELP GIVE ME SOME IDEAS

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The Prolouge is all over the place and hard to follow. It's mean to set the first chapter but what you did was kind of thrown the reader into the middle of a story. That's fine to do for a chapter one but not a prologue. I would work on polishing it or removing it.
If your stuck what I do is come up with many ideas as you can on what happens next. Don't filter any of your ideas no matter how good or bad it is. Once You have an idea you like that is where you start to filter out what's good and what's bad.

Posted 4 Years Ago

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Added on March 25, 2016
Last Updated on March 25, 2016
Tags: 1800's black, supernatural



im a beginner more..