Your Best Friend Anxiety

Just another small story. Anxiety is hard to deal with, trust me I know. These are just some thoughts and feelings about dealing with it.

Your Best Friend Anxiety

I can remember the first day that we meet. It feels so long ago. You were the one to say the first words, and at first I wasn’t sure what to think. You seemed kind and genuine. You seemed trustworthy, so when you introduced yourself, I didn’t hesitate to do the same.

I shook your hand, and you smiled. From there a friendship was created. As months went by, we began to learn about each other. Even when I was willing to tell you every single detail of my life, you hesitated to tell me anything of yours. Whenever I asked you questions, you’d avoid them. And when you asked me questions, I wouldn’t hesitate to answer them. To me, you were one of the people I could trust. Or so I thought. Little did I know what your true intentions were.

One day out of nowhere, you attacked. You had manage to lower my guard with your “friend” act. And I paid the price. You attacked me verbally and mentally. You place doubt into my mind, making me second guess myself constantly. You placed thoughts in my head that I knew weren’t true. But you managed to gain enough of my trust, that I started to believe you. You would say things like, “You can’t do it.” “You’re not strong enough, and you never will be.” “Do you honestly think that people will like you.” “You can’t do anything right.” “You’re weak.”

These were the thoughts, no, these were the lies you told me. The lies that I believed were true. And I started to hate myself for it. But after years of staying by your side, and listening to you, you took it a step too far. That was the day I had enough.

I was tired of the lies, tired of following you, tired of being your friend. You never were my friend, you never wanted to be friends. You only wanted to see me suffer, and to think I allowed a situation like this last as long as it did. Shame on me. I could have ended it sooner, but I didn’t know how. But on that day, the day where you crossed the line, was the day I declared my independence from you.

It has now been two years since that day, and you and I have been trying to work together. And there have been times where we have gotten along, and there have been times where we haven’t seen eye to eye. But even I have changed in these past years. I have become more aware of what you do, what you stand for. I am now able to make my stand against you, should you try to tear me down again. And I know that you are aware that I am stronger than you. I think that’s why you’ve been more willing to work with me, rather than against me.

We still got a long way to go. I strongly believe that you and I can work together, that we can co-exist. You just gotta trust in me, you have to have faith that I won’t steer us the wrong way. You have to have faith that we will make it to where we need to go.

Anxiety, I will never let anything hurt us, I will never diverge from the path that has been made from us. You have to have faith that I will make the right choice. Like I’ve said over and over. I see you now as a friend, not an enemy. We are strong when we work together, rather than against each other. When we are against one another, it doesn’t hurt me anymore, it only hurts you.  Remember that the next time you try to tear me down.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems. Feedback is appreciated