A Garden of Roses

I like to see-

Rain falling down from the sky,

It helps me to breathe;

Seeing roses in my garden did not die.

Roses have thorns,

And so do I.

You added fire to my pyre,

Then asked me why am I not alive.

Pause, silence, then rewind,

We are back to nineteen ninety five.

In that same garden

No seeds were sown,

You stooped me with your burden

No birds sang; only weeds were grown.

Years later I see grace fall as rain

Sharpening my thorns, my armour against pain.

My roses grew in the wild

Blood red, gentle yellow and sometimes pale white.

My thorns can pierce your hand

Every time you want to touch

But you cannot uproot me;

I rose above through soil and mud.

You were never a gardener,

You were the leaf eating insect.

Your twisted spade could not nurture,

Pesticides fooled by you; far from being a suspect.

I can still smell you.

you reeked of pretension and sewage

But my roses overpowered you,

Now they dance in rain as the wind rage.

Reviews

[¿]

Wonderful metaphor and thought presented.....like the type of poems I want to read in solitude!
Loved this one....hope your roses never die...and rain showers vigour on them...
Thanks for sharing :)

[Isha C.]

Thank you very much!

[¿]

You're welcome :)

[emipoemi]

One thing I can say about you as a poet is that you write in very powerful themes and metaphors that attract the eye and tug at the soul. What you need to get better at is your craft of expression, for there are some words/lines about this poem that are in need of tweaking:

- "it helps me breathe" (don't need "to" for two reasons: mars the musicality; and it's not necessarily grammatically correct).

-"Then asked me why I'm not alive" (better musicality that way)

-"I rose above the soil and mud" ("through" seems out of place in that line).

-"Pesticides fooled by you; far from being a suspects" (does not compute!! What?)

-".....as the winds rage" (it would otherwise be "wind rages", so you either have to pluralize "wind" or make it genitive: "Now they dance in the rain and the wind's rage").

This is otherwise fantastically weaved and written! Well done! Much enjoyed!

[Isha C.]

When I apply your inputs it actually makes the whole piece better. Thank you for encouraging me. It inspires me to write more.
In the line "pesticides fooled by you; far from being a suspect", I actually thought of something but could not express it properly. I have a lot to learn about english language.
Thank you again.

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.