The Wounded Warrior

It's about a wounded warrior, who struggles and fights till her last breath to win for the Truth.

Drops of blood flew in the air,

thick, red-hot blood gushed out,

she pulled the sword out,

grimacing in mind-numbing pain.

The Earth was the color of red today,

she struggled onto her shaking feet,

and marched towards her enemies,

death could visit any moment now.

Clink, clank, swish, swoosh,

and two men fell down,

not to rise ever again.

Breathless, bathed in sweat and blood,

her eyes gleamed bright,

like a lion's in the night.

Her sword danced like death,

today, even God could not kill her.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the poem and it's a pretty graphic portrayal of close combat with swords. My only suggestion would be that it could be more descriptive. You have the word "blood" repeated several times. Maybe you could think of some other ways to describe it without saying "blood"? You also have the adjective "red" used twice. Maybe some other word or description could be used there. Like, "The earth was colored crimson today." or "The viscous life force gushed" something that represents the same thought without repetition. These are just suggestions on how I think the poem might be improved. I enjoyed the read. F.

[Rohit Dahiya]

Thank you for taking out time to give a thoughtful review! It means a lot to me. I will surely try to incorporate your feedback in my work.