what if?

its about a detective who is interrogating a wanted man for the murder of a man that his wife was going out with and the detectives push for the confession she needs to send him to court

 Detectives Roy and Dan ask David questions on the murder of the unidentifiable man that was in his house

Roy becomes more inpatient as the interrogation goes on. Both of them become more angry because David isn't answering their questions so then detective Blake goes in the interrogation room and asks Roy and Dan to leave the room. Roy says no sorry am in charge of this case sorry Blake. Blake then turns around and says please Roy give me 10 minutes to try and get him to talk you know me to well you know ill try anyway. Roy understands the look in Blake's eye. Shes 'determined' he  said to himself so they leave the room and watch what happens through the cameras in the next room. 

 Blake stares at David she can see the guilt and the terror in his eyes. Then says 'you chose wrong' David said's what does that mean in his panicked voice. Blake- it means did you have the full story on what happened. David still looks confused. Blake-what if the guy you shoot had no idea May had a husband she probably told him all sorts of lies about who she really was. so you chose to kill a man that had no idea that you where her husband. That's why you chose wrong instead of confronting you're wife you grabbed your shotgun and shot the man 4 times in the head. then David shouted saying I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT! i was upset and angry i just snapped what the hell did i do. I confess i shot him i accept what the court wants me to do prison death penalty anything. Blake- just right down your confession you're lawyer and the court can handling the rest. Roy then orders an officer to take David to his cell he then talks to Blake saying well done i should have you take control of cases more often. Then says we got another call about the attacks.......

Author's Note

hi am new to the whole writhing thing hope your not to harsh

Reviews

[Ruby Heggie (PB Jacobs)]

Documentation
4/6/18
4:42 PM U.S. CST
"My Review of What If? by Raven, A Fellow Writer's Cafe Author"
by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org)

Alright, raven

So what you have is a small box if storyline that needs to be either filled more, or dumped out, inspected and then, added to. Sure, you have a story, and I'm sure at least a couple hundred thousand, or more people will buy it, if you play your cards right, but I don't know what you have planned for this.

Right now, what you have is just an idea, and that's all I see. Some people are entertained by anything, as they just want something to take them out of their everyday troubles that blot out the finer things in their everyday personalities.

Either or, raven...

I hope I don't sound too blunt, or uncool, but it doesn't take much to get an idea, and it doesn't take much to develop it, or make something out of it, these day's.

I don't see much excitement, or anything else coming from you, except an idea, but then again, I'm not on your end of the internet.

PB Jacobs

[raven]

thanks i will plan out my stories better for the future i will learn more ways on how to make a good story and hopefully i can make this storyline longer and am sorry its not the best thank you for your review on what direction i should take

[Cyd]

This is not a screenplay but a brief note on what the scene is about. I think you should read a screenplay or two (I think reading screenplays is the quickest and easiest ways to learn the basics, if you like the format there are plenty of books and websites dedicated to teach you all the tricks)

Screenwriting is fun and different from writing prose and you should give it a go!

[raven]

thanks ill keep that in mind