Road Kill & Moonshine Still-Write of Redneck Humor

A write of humor about the infamous Redneck road kills and a country bumpkin who has a moonshine still!

 

Author's Note

Road Kill & Moonshine Still

I was on my way to get "sqeezins" from my moonshine still,
When I came 'cross some mighty fine fresh flattened road kill.
Stopped in my tracks to scoop up some of the critter in my bag,
Thinking a humongous pot of stew would sure please my Hag!
Those "squeezins" could just wait fer a while!

When I got back home, sure was a mighty fuss and moan,
'Cause my hound dog "Blue" had eaten all the corn pone!
So I said to Millie Sue, my favorite Hag, Honey, don't you cry.
Lookey here in my poke at this critter and wipe your eyes dry.
Ain't it just what you need to make you smile?”

She flashed me the biggest ole' toothless happy grin and smile.
Why she had my heart a doin' flip flops fer a purdy country mile.
I danced a happy banjo playin’ jig in my mountain overall bibs,
And, then she whispered to me, "Now Paw, don't tell me no fibs!”
Both foot started a tappin' to an Irish fiddle beat!

Then, I sang to her, "Now Millie Bo Peep, just don't you worry,
'Cause I'm gonna fix some vittles with this treasure in a hurry.
Fetch me that big iron skillet, and I'll need an ole' iron lid too,
And, I'll whip up a batch of my Possum Holler road kill stew"!
That mash in my squeezins' kept creating heat!

Millie Bo Peep was mighty hungry, fretted some, it wasn’t funny
‘Cause we ain't had much grub since we was plum outta money.
I grabbed her and gave her a big hug in my hairy arms rite tight,
And, said Glory Bell, "You just wait until the moon shines tonight"!
Then it hit me that my still was ready to blow!

Well, I had to do first things first, so I fried that critter 'til done,
Then me and my purdy Hag headed off to have some Redneck fun.
We whooped and hollered, and howled at our Appalachian moon,
As we clogged and flatfooted to a knee slappin’ Moonshine tune!
This moonshiner's squeezins' had oats to sow!

Sheila Bowyer Kline
A Redneck gal in the hills of West Virginia

Reviews

[Jon Gary Frost]

1. I have sipped on some powerful squeezins, in my past.
2. I personally love corn-pone. Throw some cracklins in if you got some.
3. I am a native Tennessean. I believe we are one of only a few states where any road kill is protected, by law, for human consumption. Not proud of this, but it's true.

Not gonna try to review this. Just like moonshine, this piece is not for savoring. It's just for having a good time with. Yee-haaw.

[Legion]

lol

and gross ;)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

OMG... when you told me about this piece I just knew it would be fun but it's even better, I was whoting and chuckling the whole way through... sounds like a great dinner to me just like bbq and beer... I got to say you used your creativity and humor with your always unique style. Never change darling cause you are one fun loving and sweet pearl.