Dream Theater "Sequence 1"

Try but I can't

Running for my life

Chase leads down the hall

Just me, killer and a knife

 

He starts to catch up

As I start to tire out

I'm trying as hard as I can

Looking for a different route

 

Is there anyone here

Can anyone help

He grabs the back of my shirt

As I let out a yelp

 

He's finally caught me

What can I do

He rears his knife back

Then lunges through

 

The knife pierces my back

Everything starts to ache

I suddenly jump up

And now I'm awake?

 

It was all just a dream

Wow, that seemed so real

I could never imagine

How I would feel

 

Glad that is over

What a horrible sight

What will be next

In dream theater tonight

 

 

Author's Note

Gonna try something with this one. I'm thinking about going with a series of sorts.

Reviews

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I think a series would be good. This could be a good opening piece, but that would depend on whether or not the rest of the dreams would explain or give some reason as to why the speaker is having such nightmares about people killing him. I really liked the rhyme scheme and the flow was amazing and quick. I really liked the content as well.

[Pinky]

are thay real dreams u r writing about... i wud get a carl jung dream achitype book... you cud be trying to tell urself something...

ok the poem... very nice flow the everyother line rhymeing is very nice... the form is good...
a good idea if it is ur dreams... cuz the more you write ur dreams downm... the more you dream the next nite and thn remember better....i am givin u a 100.... f*****g awesome job!!!!

[Queenie Strange]

wow hon!!! that was extremely good!!

oxo

[Sarah]

Whoa, creepy dream. XD This was an awesome poem, I loved the way that it was written with the short lines & the rhyme scheme (good job, btw, keeping the rhyme scheme sounding natural - it can really make or break a poem, in my opinion^^) I'm looking foward to reading the rest of the series & seeing where this is going. Great job! =)

[Sarah]

Whoa, creepy dream. XD This was an awesome poem, I loved the way that it was written with the short lines & the rhyme scheme (good job, btw, keeping the rhyme scheme sounding natural - it can really make or break a poem, in my opinion^^) I'm looking foward to reading the rest of the series & seeing where this is going. Great job! =)

[Bethany Woody]

Love the imagry. And I think most people can relate. We watch too many slasher movies at night before bed and our imagination just runs away with it. If not poeple can atleast relate to dying in a dream or almost dying in a dream. I think this would make a great series on dark poetry. Death is a pretty popular topic, but if you use something new and just twisted enough it is truely original and stands out from the crowd. I would let your imagination run and see where it gets you with the series. Maybe try something that is a little more free flow. It would add a hightened sense that this isn't real, it's unstructured, and in your subconscience. Still the rhyme works too, depends on how you want to go and how you feel comfortable writing.

[Seriana]

Hehehe, how cool! Yeah, those dreams will get ya sometimes. You did a great job of pulling the reader into the intensity of it. I felt like I was running down a dark alley on a cold, rainy night. Nicely done again Brandon. So glad to see you writing once more. :)

[Lady V]

Okay. I can relate to that. The strangest dreams are the one we barely remember in the morning or when we awake.


Good poem. Any and everybody can understand this one.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V