russian roulet

he holds his breath now,

the gun shakes in his hand,

click click boom hes gone.

Reviews

[deleted]

Very clever and intriguing Haiku. Some much bang in such a small piece! You gave a very vivid image of an individual who is is committing suicide, by your words (he holds his breath now). The gun in his hand gives the reader the fear that he faces as he does this sick deadly deed. Then you finished it with the sound (which gave a very impressive/descriptive image) of his demise. Excellent construction of such a small piece. Good read! Keep exercising your gift! I look forward to reading more of your work!

[~eVelyN fAiTh~]

I think you can expand more with this poem. Add some things to build up to the shooting of the gun, to make it more interesting. This straight to the point makes it kind of boring and it feels like you just didnt have the time

[Lunar Lightning]

I recomend adding a lot more to this poem. Imagery would really add to it.

Luna