my base of perfection

my base of perfection

A Poem by yliana
"

the boy who has the prettiest smile

"

his smile

his eyes

his hair

his personality.

I adored him for 2 whole years

why couldn't he just have noticed me?

he was my middle school crush

he was my base of perfection

I watched from afar as he flipped his hair

in awe I watched him play the violin

he had me at his finger tips

and he never knew

the whole time, he never knew

when high school came around

I had to let him go

and I did

but in a way

I never did

even though we go to different schools

and live completely different lives

I hope someday to call him mine

but I know the boy he was

and the teenager he now is

and hopefully he grows out his immaturity

so one day

we can have bliss

only if he likes me back

maybe one day

we can have each other

and be happy

 

© 2013 yliana


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Author's Note

yliana
i know i suck

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Featured Review

Ah, the horror of unrequited love. Nice poem, but I would like to have seen more detail about his hair, violin playing, and what it was like to move on. Nothing wrong with not writing in grand metaphors and similes but give us some detail; something to which the reader can relate and feel. A question I try to ask myself when writing is what emotion do I want to convey to the reader?

Also, don't tell people you suck - sometimes they don't know better ;)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Ah, the horror of unrequited love. Nice poem, but I would like to have seen more detail about his hair, violin playing, and what it was like to move on. Nothing wrong with not writing in grand metaphors and similes but give us some detail; something to which the reader can relate and feel. A question I try to ask myself when writing is what emotion do I want to convey to the reader?

Also, don't tell people you suck - sometimes they don't know better ;)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 28, 2013
Last Updated on May 28, 2013

Author

yliana
yliana

Wherever the wind takes me



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