For you ....1,000 times over....

All along, it was always about you Tomo

I always wondered what people meant when they said that they were in love. I had never been at a point in my life where I was certain that someone loved me as much as I loved them. I always feel like I am that one friend who always cares too much and as a result ends up getting too attached. I knew this would be the same sorry when I became friends with this quiet, handsome guy. He didn't talk much and he was very shy. I felt like I was forcing him to be my friend because I would always pot him in a position that made him obligated to talk to me. I liked that he would stay quiet but once he spoke it was as if the whole room gave him space because I always knew the right thing to say.

I'm not sure whether it was his corny lines, or his cocky words, or his cute smile or those lovely dimples that made me fall in love with him, but one thing was for sure, he was a kind of guy that I had never met before. I started liking him way even before I knew how great he was. It was one of those feelings that I thought would eventually go away so I never paid a lot of attention to it. Time went by and I realized that I wasn’t gonna get over this feeling so I started acting on it. I became closer and closer to this guy and before I knew it he was the last person I talked to before I went to bed and he would be the first person that I talked to in the morning.

I’ll skip the part of how I started being obsessed with him because that kinda got out of control. With time we both became really close to a point where he was the first person I called to tell that I had been accepted to UCLA. He was the person I talked to about my day and the person I told about all my family problems. He always listened to me and he didn't make me feel inferior. It was as if he could sometimes see through me because I would try acting like everything was okay and he would always tell me to vent to him. It got so obvious that our friends started questioning our friendship. We obviously both denied it but I knew that I loved this guy in so many ways that I could not even explain.

Eventually we got to a point where we would talk like we were already going out. “Baby” became my new name and we would always say “ily”.We were both obsessed with stuffed animals and even though I called him my best friend, I knew that I wanted something more from our friendship. I was obviously not going to tell him but everyday I hoped that he would see it in my eyes that I wanted no one else but him.

One Thursday, as I was going home, he texted me and he broke my heart because I said he was tired of chasing me. I did not understand what he meant because I felt like I was the one who had been chasing him. Despite all that, he finally told me the one thing that i had wanted to hear for so long. He said that he did like me!! I think I have replayed that conversation in my head over a million times. I was so happy that I couldn't stop thinking about that moment for the next weeks that followed. All along I knew that he was the one I wanted but I didn't know that he felt the same way. We started going out and I can say that it has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. He makes me feel like I am actually a person worth fighting for.He does his best to keep me happy and I just love him so much for that.

He has been my shoulder when I needed someone and he has been the goofy person when I needed someone to just laugh with. I wish that I can make him feel what he makes me feel but I always feel like I am not good enough. I feel bad because he will be leaving for college soon and I have not sent a lot of time with him because my parents to dot approve of our relationship. I can tell that sometimes he wants to tell me that he misses me but he avoids doing it because he wants to show me that he is happy with what we have. I love this guy to death and I just wish that for once I can give him what he gives me. I make sure we spend endless hours talking on the phone but I know even if we never say it we both wish we could see each other more often. I hope that he is willing enough to hold on because I would be devastated if I were ever to lose him. I have never had anyone believe in me as much as he believes in him. He makes me happy in just the way he smiles and sticks out his tongue.

Today, he spent time with his family and they went to the pier at night. I missed him so much but I have grown accustomed to not telling him that because  I just feel like I am putting him through a really tough relationship and I just don't want to make things any harder. He said he wanted to take me to the beach at night and I had to make up some dumb line about how the beach is cold. But the truth is that I would be so happy to spend time at the beach with him. We have come this far and i just want us to keep going no matter what happens.

All I can say is that I have never felt for anyone what I feel for him. Baby please never forget that I love you.

Reviews

[JALP]

You and your boyfriend clearly have a lot of chemistry. If you guys are as devoted as you make it sound here I can promise you that you will make it through all of your issues. Love always triumphs.