Dave Cannot Stop Drunk Dialing The Same Drunk Girl At 3a.m.

Drunk sex after 3a.m. is Dave's addiction which wouldn't be much of a conflict in his life if it weren't for Elizabeth.

   Dave stumbled down the stairs to his mother's basement, where he would usually retreat when he drunkenly/sorrowfully wanted to eat Bagel Bites in privacy. He always expected these collection of stairs to have another step so the last step had an abrupt foot landing, causing a Bagel Bite to overshoot his mouth wide right and stain his cheek. Dave's eye contact ahead of him detected Elizabeth hobbling on one foot in front of the back house entrance, struggling to take off the leather winter boots she decided to wear in mid August.

"Hey, want a Bagel Bite?" was Dave's introduction.

   Elizabeth had spent her Thursday night drinking, as obvious as any two 23 year-olds-still-living-at-their-parents'-house-while-paying-off-debts will do. She silently shook her head without opening her eyes, this motion spoke to Dave in a "any sudden food might make me sick at this moment" sort of way.

   The sex the two would collaborate to make was typically drunken and loud. Elizabeth was professional while Dave was courteous with wasting time.

"Must have not been that bad of a day at work, at least you had time to go out drinking after" Dave slurred out, sitting on the edge of his couch pull-out bed while Elizabeth quickly removed her leggings.

   When these two would begin their sex festivites, the passion the two could throw at eachother was like two water balloons colliding full force together. She quickly gobbled Dave's penis into her mouth, as he quickly had to tweet about it. Elizabeth's strong suit was eye contact and yelling. Dave's was exhaling heavily and taking for f*****g ever (but only when really drunk). Elizabeth realizes she's wearing the same underwear from yesterday and Dave realizes he hasn't shaved in a month: so they're pretty much even at this point.

   Dave sticks to his morals of always pulling out no matter how drunk he is. He is thankful for the no-babies-luck, as he destructs a mess that makes Elizabeth have to cover her face with both hands.

   Dave flops over to his side, facing away from Elizabeth as she cleans her stomach with a towel that she is skeptical about how conveniently nearby it is. Elizabeth's special maneuver is to big spoon Dave's back and whisper French into his ear. "Instant Boner Tactic" or "IBT" Dave nicknamed it with Elizabeth.

   The two hobble on top of eachother for double the duration as the previous time. Elizabeth has to clean a mess all along her lower back this time.

   Dave flops over a second time but Elizabeth is frustrated she cannot start Dave's engine a third. Elizabeth is left with her thoughts which lead to The Spins.

   Dave wakes the next morning early enough to start work at 7a.m. and finds a small print of puke at the end of the bed where Elizabeth used to be.

   This went on for another three months. Sometimes the Bagel Bites were hashbrowns or hotdogs with no bun.

The last time the two fucked, Dave unintentionally got even by exploding semen all over her face and hair.

"I think you have a problem", Elizabeth told Dave before they never spoke to each other again.