I'm tired of acting

Write this on one of my dark days...

People ask me if I’m okay, and I say yes.
But I’m not.
I’m slowly falling deeper and deeper into the dark,
And nobody knows because I keep a smile on my face.
Each day it becomes harder to keep my head up and keep good thoughts.
People ask me how I manage to be so happy all the time,
But they dont know how much I ache and sob every night.
I help people in every way I can, but I can’t even help myself.
I can’t stand another day of saying “I’m fine,” and “Never been better.”
I honestly just want to drive a knife through my heart and watch the blood drip as I slowly fade away.
So don’t ask me if I’m okay, because I’ll lie to you.
Don’t ask me if I’ll make through, because I’ll lie to you again.
My heart is broken and can’t be fixed,
Nobody knows what’s wrong and even if they did, they couldn’t do anything.
I want to cry out for help, tell everybody what’s wrong,
But my thoughts are convincing me to stay quiet, and they taunt me until I break down.
I cry in the dark, where no one can hear me,
And the only relief I have is pain.
Everything is becoming hard and dark, but I don’t care.
I want to die, I want to die slowly so the pain occupies me.
I need help, but I don’t know how to ask.
Is this what I have become?
Is this how I am going to live my life?
My broken heart is killing me, but maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Author's Note

Sorry if this scared you of made you concerned, just a step into my mind.

Reviews

[Bee]

Didn't scare me, but did make me a bit sad. It's really horrible how much pressure society puts on us to wear a smile and act like everything's ok. I've found myself in this place a few times as well, although I'd never think of suicide. I feel like that would be giving in, surrendering to all the cruel tricks and circumstances that life throws at me. I've been going through some rough times too, and I write depressing stuff too sometimes, for me it's a good way to vent. Anyways, I do understand where you're coming from, and I hope you feel better soon. The poem itself was actually pretty well-written in my opinion, and I look forward to seeing what you may write on one of your better days.