The Day I Die

TW: mentions of death, potentially triggering mentions of pain // This is a suicidal person's promise.

The day I die
Will not be at my most agonizing day
It will not be when the world is crushing me in its weight
When everything in my body just hurts
And I have no will to live another day or see another person

The day I die
Will not be because of an insurmountable pain
So terrible yet so far away
That I'd want to hurt myself
Just to relieve myself from a pain
I both cannot comprehend or overcome

The day I die
Will not be when my family is in shambles
When it's more fallen apart than it's current state
When I have lost the very bonds that kept me grounded
No matter how problematic

The day I die
Will be when my world is perfectly still
I am not devastated
I am not ecstatic
I am at peace

The day I die
Will be the day I have a fulfilling career
Good ties with my family
A loving parter
Strong pillars of friendship

The day I die
Will not be because I have given up
But because the world will be
Perfectly still
And I am
Truly
Happy