Lost Fool

Some scars just don't ever heal

I moved on

I was scared that I would

They say that change is never bad

They say you can't hold on forever

I don't know where I'm going

I don't know if I'm enough

I hate feelings

They make me weak

I hate being weak

I hate wallowing in self-pity

I don't want to be vulnerable ever again

I want something real

I want something I can touch

A shoulder I can cry on

Except that I don't want to cry

Crying makes me feel weak

I want someone to flip my whole world upside down

The bad, but feels so good kind of love

I used to be scared of a lot of things

But I am scared of nothing now

It feels like we haven't talked in years

It feels like I don't even know you

You're a stranger to me now

No one is waiting for me to be okay

No one looks at sad people and just wants to hug them

Because not a lot of people are like me

I am not special, I'm just different

One more thing that I have to accept

I want to be left alone

But I don't want to feel like I'm missing out

I want some peace of mind

But I don't want to live an ordinary life

I want to stop writing

But I love the attention

I don't know what I want

I hate my mood swings

I hate how impatient I am

I hate how lost I am

I hate how much I miss someone who doesn't know the first thing about me

I hate how I think that we have a chance

I hate that I ever saw you

You know yourself, lost one

My love for you is unjustifiable

My love for you is pure

I hope you can see, but then what?

I'll screw it up again

I can't get you out of my head no matter how hard I try

Just a little bit of your heart

Let me be a friend

Let me be anything to you

I hate it, but damn!

Here you go making me weak again

I am such a fool