;

It seems like ages since I've loved you
But never will I forget you
Always will I know you
In death you'll live in my thoughts and in the depths of my heart

I've written words about you before, but never had I imagined your story would be so short
My hand hits the page and I feel no more than a . . . ;
Your presence lingers in a way your voice will never chime in my ears again
The warmth of your laugh seems so far away but I feel it's rhythm in the beat of my chest
Your name elicits tears In way I never thought it would
And I've cried many a tears over you
Never did I think I'd be asked why I miss you? Why your face haunts my every dream ?
I suppose it is because no one truly knows the story of you and me



In a flash in the distance in the corners of my darkened mind
In the space no one dares to go, your smile radiates, your warmth touches every unknown ...
My secrets were mine to keep, but no one knew it was you that were in fact my keeper...
The anger, rage, and sadness welled and like a storm you blew it over
Distance could separate our physical beings but when one hurt me it was you that felt the pain...
In words I can never describe what your friendship meant to me...
What you meant to me...
In our differences we grew stronger
Accepting...
Everlasting ...
Never did I think that this would be goodbye ;

Reviews

[JayG]

So much of your poetry is you talking about what’s meaningful to you. And when you read it, knowing the backstory and everything related to the events you mention, it works. But for a reader, who lacks context, too often it’s you, talking about things meaningful only to you, because you’re focused on explaining and reporting. When you say, "It seems like ages since I've loved you," Who is this "you?" No way to know, so, for the reder, no reason to care.

At the moment, your work is fact-based and author-centric, because that’s how we’re taught to write. But a focus on facts is how reports and essays are written. Poetry, which works to make the reader feel and care, is emotion-based. We don’t tell a reader how WE feel, we make them feel it. We give the reader compelling reason to laugh and cry, to fall in love, and to rage against injustice. Does someone I don't know think about someone not introduced, for unstated reasons? Probably. But from a reader's viewpoint, there's no reason to do mor than say, "Uhh...okay."

Using only words, carefully and deliberately placed, you have the power to make someone you will never meet bow their head in sorrow, and thank you for doing it. But…to do that, you must first, learn the skills the pros take for granted.

Remember all the reports and essays you were assigned in school? They made you good at writing reports and essays, which have informing the reader as their goal. In other words, you’ve worked hard to perfect a set of nonfiction techniques. Use report-writing skills to write poetry and the result reads like a report.

Universities offer degrees in poetry, and fiction. And it makes sense that at least part of what’s taught is necessary knowledge. Right? So, dig into those skills and make them yours. Nonfiction plods ahead, accomplishing necessary tasks. But poetry soars and inspires.

So…don’t tell the reader of your life. Make their life more interesting. As E. L. Doctorow put it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” So, instead of presenting the weather report, make them feel those icy droplets stinging their cheek. Take Mark Twian’s advice to heart: “Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”

You might download a copy of Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Visit the Shmoop site. Log in as student, then use the midpage button to select Poetry, and check some great poetry, analyzed to show why it is great.

Read the excerpt from Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon, and be amazed at things you never suspected about the flow of language.

Don’t just inform your reader, amaze them.

And, whatever you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/