Fragments from my first forays into Soho, London

Dearest SoHo

labyrinth walls

higher than the night sky can reach

blocking out dirty smog and sound

home away from home away from home away from home

not just filth, I promise, my love.

take my hand, and we’ll guide each other into

that shallow night

and we’ll keep each other safe and sound

“Good Boy”

that’s what you call me

all tender whispers and gruff moans

holding my head down in the ocean

drowning us both in animal musk

there’s only so much you can say to yourself

as you stagger into the chimera’s leonine jaw

warm and moist as

something I can’t write

sex maybe

toss a wish into an acid well

and buy another drink, lad.

it’s a long, dark night

you were a boy like me once and you'll still let me do this

that’s what it means to be evil

you were a boy like me and you’ll still lead me through this jungle

and tell me that our culture is a zoo

you’ll sit me down at the bar and

you’ll show me dread in a cocktail glass

it’s not your job

it was never your goddamn job

to tell me that there’s beauty in the metal roses sprouting from the cracks in the dance floor

and i’m so f*****g sorry that you’re not beauty enough for me tonight.

i’m afraid, my love, my nemesis, my reflection.

i’m afraid of the storm and the rainbow that comes after.

I’m not built for anywhere but the corners

you’ve taught me that much,

but that’s the vantage point

I’ve never seen more

for worse and for better

this is where I am now

under the filigreed ground

closest I’ll ever be to heaven

with men who are just angel enough for now

until tomorrow, My love,

when I’ll open my maw to the sky again

If it smells like something’s died

It’s because of what I’ve had to drink,

not what I’ve said.

I promise you that’s all

I promise you, my dear.

that’s all it is.

Farewell to scratching at my heart

Like fingers playing chopsticks on a baseball.

I’ll see you again one day, i’m sure

Sweet boy caught wandering in this foggy labyrinth of sex and drugs .

Who cares whose money it is?
It gets me a drink all the same.

So i’ll stop bitching for now.

Goodnight.

Author's Note

Be gentle, it's my first time.
Yes I know that it's fragmented and Messy