Iota of lives trapped...

As I walk alone in dimly lit streets at night,
I am brimming with gratitude.
Magnanimous is the darkness which blankets me
and more so my darker mind.
I lay myself at its feet,
it embraces me as i am.
Qualms triggered by convoluted social deceptions,
more exposed in broad daylight
                          now are in phlegmatic somnolence, putting me at ease.
           
I can feel my heart whimper,
oh! no not tonight.. we are not conversing now, sweet heart.
Let me stretch out my mind, embrace the breath of edifices
        standing tall around me, their shadows sleeping at                                                                                                      my feet.
Next time any of you are stranded with that b***h called loneliness,
just remember these seemingly imposing facades staring back at you.
Gift them more than a fleeting glance.

As I do now...

I think of the hands which piled these bricks,
plastered them together with their thoughts.
Every mute building breathes the lives which built them.
What lays now safe amidst the walls of these silent behemoths,
is so much different from what built them;
A wild freedom sparked with the psyches that constructed them.
With fabricated walls standing tall in fiery elegance,
all is a feigned cloistered secret, in an attempt at keeping lives private.

I can smell every drop of human sweat muffled in plaster now.
Immense it is to feel,
an overbearing presence of fragments of dreams, aspirations, small talks
of fellow humans who have constructed a testimony of lives they have lived.
I know I am not alone as i walk this path,
a mere iota of the lives of these buildings' creators
has fallen off into my bare hands today befriending me.

Yet 
What humankind has left as a symbol
of their feet having touched the terra firma
upon which my musings trail now....

Fabrications as lonely as perhaps they were,
calling out to dilapidated souls, such as i, who oft walk these streets alone.





             

Author's Note

I thank with all sincerity My very good friends Jennie wren and Jibey for their effort and time as they read this poem and pointed out some errors i had made.I have made the corrections accordingly.A special thanks to Jennie wren...i couldn't have completed this write without her.

Reviews

[dovetailer]

we were in Venice on night...we were the last gondola on the water...100 Euros bought me a ghostly glide through the hulking buildings along the canals...silence except for the waves lapping the buttresses and moorings... the moon shone on the water and the shadows were cool and dark...it was so restive...so soothing...passing through the shadows cast be buildings erected hundreds of years ago...then, a hotbed of industry and bustle...now a silent keeper of secrets...I know what you feel as you walk the streets...safe...inconspicuous...able to afford to let your soul out of the cage to soar in the darkness...free to spin this wonderful tale of absolution of all that makes your "heart whimper"...
I know you have many fears and anxieties...but they give your writing a purity and an urgency that I lack most of the time...

[Abdul Aziz]

Brilliant. I dare say this is among the best poems you've ever written. Epic in scope, and subtle in its execution. You have never shied from using good vocabulary in your poems, but this poem blends your brilliantly weighed words with the grace of a ballerina, as you take the reader on a very engaging tour of your mind. There are too many lines I'd like to quote. Suffice to say, I love the whole poem. I can also think of many ways in which this poem can be interpreted, which is how any good write written with this kind of deliberation should be. Great job! This is going into my favorites.
100/100

[Mark Wallace]

A noble sentiment, to find such comfort in the works of man, impersonal and cold as they may seem at first sight. A bittersweet ode to loneliness and communion. Successfully balances both sides of the coin of being human, the eternal aloneness and the sense of being a link in a chain which is comforting. Humanity is full of contradiction. That's life, and that's poetry, to be able to embrace the contradiction, without simplifying and without wallowing, and without clutching to false straws.

[Ashesh]

It's dark and it poetic my friend. Really enjoyed your style of writing. I can relate to those feelings... it's totally my genre [though I don't write as good as you do :) ]
Anyways, great read!

[Emily B]

lovely, lonely words, thank you for inviting me to it

[Tim]

What a really great piece of poetry. Formatting is off but not to the detriment of the poem which you describe so well. Your appreciation for the buildings around you and the appreciation for those who built them is well founded. There is such a history involved in what we see that we can take it all for granted sometimes. There is an art form to old buildings that can not always be duplicated. The mood of this is also something I admire. Great poem Swaha.

[Robin]

this beautiful haunting poem hasmy mind walking the alleys and sidestreets , memories of the slow change in shadows as the sun made its way across the sky

[deeps]

This is deep really, and so well written.

[Ed Hart]

what a grand creation, an edifice of words to compliment your reflections...a very tall piece to match your buildings, and show us the reach of your growing heart

[Miss Coral]

Beautiful piece... the imagery and descriptions are breathtakingly gorgeous, and not only seem to be real, but can be envisioned so clearly they seem to replace the computer screen.

Excellent.