Koala's Love Buttholes  April 28, 2012 - May 18, 2012

Reading and Deliberating

Details

Warning: I apologize in advance if this contest seems odd. Please note I was heavily inebriated while it was manifesting itself into a state of implantation within the uterus of Writerscafe. Bow chicka wow wow.

For Meaghan <3

My best friend asked that I make another poetry contest because she absolutely adores taking time out of her not-so-hectic schedule to read thousands of submissions of verse (or prose, depending on your liking).

Some guidelines:
1. Keep the poems short please like Meaghan. Let it be known...she's basically a dwarf. A.k.a 5' 1"...So let's agree on a maximum length of 51 lines. Anything longer than that will make Meaghan sad about her height and will be disqualified and exiled to the farthest and darkest regions of the yellow brick road..(so far in fact that the brilliant light of the Emerald City cannot penetrate it's darkness). To get to the point: Keep It Short. Gracias.

2. Meaghan is a rare breed of human known as Humanus Rougeus, more commonly known as a Ginger. To be more specific Meaghan is what we common-folk call a "Daywalker". For those of you who lack the ability and knowledge of the varieties of Gingers: A daywalker is somewhat of a half-breed. Pale skin, freckles and reddish-brown hair (as opposed to the standard 'fire engine red' or 'orange'). To break it all down to brass tax: try to include some element of nature (i.e sunlight or fire, etc.) in your poem.

3. Your poem can be about absolutely anything you desire, as long as it pertains to the first two guidelines. Some tips: try to keep it light and fluffy (like Meaghan) so that she does not cry. Meaghan crying is kind of like that scene in Noah's Ark...or the "feckin" summer in Ireland. (Bonus points to anyone who can cleverly make jabs about Mormons, because she is one...and I think it's hilarious).

4. If you feel the need to rhyme, then by all means do so. But Jesus help you if your rhymes don't flow smoothly. For every rigid rhyme Meaghan finds, she will sniff a Koala's butthole. (Hence the name of the contest). Meaghan isn't much of a brown-noser so the less Koala holes she has to sniff, the better it is for everyone. You may also write in prose, just to spice it up a little bit. Don't get too wacky it's only allowed to be 51 lines ;)

5.Each contestant may enter 1 piece of poetry. So make it goood! (I put three 'o's there, intentionally, to emphasize the importance of goodness in your poetry...I'm not THAT drunk)....yet.

Alright, now I leave the rest up to you, my little munchkins!

Words of Wisdom for you: Don't forget that the carpet should ALWAYS match the drapes. And, we represent the Lollipop Guild.

Hit us with your best shot. FIRE away!!!!

(Hahahaha get it? Fire! Because it's about GINGERS)

Prizes

$0.00, The satisfaction of a clean wax.

Awards

Get the Aloe, mothafucka is burnt. Get the Aloe, mothafucka is burnt.
Ginger-oala Ginger-oala
Itchy Sunburn Award, slap that s**t. Itchy Sunburn Award, slap that s**t.
Your Carpet Has Successfully Matched Your Drapes. Your Carpet Has Successfully Matched Your Drapes.
Ginger Koala Butthole Munchkins Award. Ginger Koala Butthole Munchkins Award.

Moderator

s.r.knight
s.r.knight
Canada

Stats

6 Contestants
6 Submissions
280 Views
Created Apr 29, 2012

Submit Submit Writing

Rules

  • Any WritersCafe.org Member can Submit
  • Only Poetry can be Submitted
  • All Genres of Writing can be Submitted
  • Each Contestant May Submit 1 Piece of Writing
  • Writing may be submitted 4/28/2012 - 5/18/2012
  • Winners will be decided by User Votes

Disclaimer

s.r.knight is solely responsible for the content of this contest, including all promised prizes. Take any promises of large monetary awards with a grain of salt. Contact s.r.knight if you have any further questions.