A Lesson by Bernard Tisman

This is about a bird that swipe's a freedom pass out of a man's hand. Freedom passes are a bird's favourite prey, because as you know birds do eat bus passes.


One day a man was using his freedom pass, when all of a sudden a bird swooped down and grabbed it out of his hand, so he thought up a plan.

Why not use your nose as a bus pass.

The passenger tried to press his nose on the oyster card machine but the driver said:

"Hey you, get off the bus, you put your nose on the ticket machine. You use your bus pass, not your nose."

In revenge the man took his head off and threw it at the driver. The driver took revenge, grabbed hold of the man and chucked him through the window. He landed headfirst on the pavement. In fact he went right through the pavement and went right down into the sewer. The bus driver even went too far and sent a mad dog into the hole in the ground. The dog went down into the sewer and grabbed the man. He then brought him up where the driver broke the man in two and chucked the two halves up into the sky. The two half men went their own separate ways.

Even odder things happened. The man’s head flew off his body and down where it went, ‘smack, into the bus. The head, minus its owner, boarded the bus by itself and pulled the driver’s head off. The two human heads ended up having a fight right in front of astonished passengers. Even though the heads had no bodies attached to them that didn’t stop them from fighting.

One of the passengers caught such a fright that his chest started to grow a tree. The man with a tree sticking out of his chest tried to get out of the way but the tree made it impossible.

All of a sudden the bus driver’s arms fell off as he tried to steer the bus and the bus went mad. It went up a drainpipe and went right through a window, landing in the living room

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Added on July 27, 2014
Last Updated on July 27, 2014

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Bernard Tisman
Bernard Tisman

greater london, redbridge, United Kingdom