everyday i fall in love <3

read it like you''re 15 again a poem on adolescent love .... xoxoxo

every day at 10

i stand at the shop 

at the corner end...

light a cigarette

and try to pretend....

away from worries

away from blames

away from them

who just pretend

and fake 

to be friends....

move to peace

gingerly

with my smoke

and those dreams in my head.....

but today when i was 

in my smoking session

in and out of my frustration....

i saw that face

thought it's an illusion

so i just paid some attention

it was someone with an angelic smile

someone i never saw this side

she walked by

and i was flying high

had never felt this for a while

praying all these thoughts would

prove worthwhile...

thinking and blushing

i moved ahead

dreaming of the time to come

i thought about my life

to come....

so i maintained some gap

followed her with soft steps....

she moved into the parking lot

someone was sitting on that spot

he greeted her with a hug and a kiss

i screamed inside and felt a hit....

then he gave her a bunch of roses

they hugged

and gave some awkward poses

he opened the gate of his car

she went inside

like a princess

from stars....

all this while i was blaming my fate

why i was here 

so deliberate....

then i just looked back

my first one sided 

love story ended

with a small heart attack....

but the next day i was

back on my track

chasing that girl with

white legs :) 

Reviews

[Blue Ivory]

If you want my honest opinion, it could use a little work. Some grammatical errors here and there, and a bit of lack of maturity in you style. But I like the way you describe the girl and the way the guy feels about her. The topic you chose is very cute =)

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Like a love at first sight type piece. It was beautifully penned and touching. You have a touching way of expression when it comes to love.

I like this poem! It's so romantic and sweet! Nice job!

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice journey in your poem. I try to have the eyes of a fifteen year old. I like the way you described your thoughts and the places. I enjoyed the poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Jordan's Back]

I also want to point out To the Literacy "Buffs" That poetry is completely and totally and expressive form. It is the only Literary art form Where one can be themselves. Misspellings and Grammatical Laws, are not applicable in poetry. The writer May express himself at will, while pouring all the Emotions he has upon paper.

So, with that said ASB. Bravo, and Don't listen to Grammar Nazi's Who's poetry may be grammatically Correct, but lack one key ingredient, Personality!

Keep writing!

[Jordan's Back]

i disagree with Shalott. This is a wonderful write, and It shows the playfulness yet Happiness of how love can just lift your feet off the ground, and change your whole perspective on things. Wonderful Job!

[~Lizzy♬]

I do agree with "The Lady of Shalott" about the grammar errors. You do know how to make this poem glisten with emotions as I read it though. :)

~Lizzy~

[MetBySunlight]

It could use a little work, like the flow and how you have worded things.
I love the topic and how you've described the imagery and how he feels about her. I reckon a lot of people can relate to this.

[misscb]

Such a beautiful write... I love how descriptive your words are...

[bethany cullen]

very well discribed I can so visualise it xxxxx

[Cassie Fraga]

longing emotions... I can relate too... nice write!!