Elsa, keep Me Updated

Elsa, keep Me Updated

A Story by Laura Almeida
"

Quick coffee story

"

When she left to go out with her friends, I said, “Keep me updated.” At the time, I meant for her to just let me know what they were doing and when she’d be coming home. Now, I wish I had said something else.

Somehow that night, Elsa had gotten drunk and her friends were either too drunk to care, or weren’t being attentive to how intoxicated Elsa truly was.

How else can you explain Elsa driving them all around at 2:30 in the morning with a blood alcohol level 3 times the legal limit? there had been a crash. Most of them were fortunate. Elsa was the only one who died.

Now I think about what I said before she left, “Keep me updated.” Not “I love you,” or anything like that what a fool I was. I thought we had all the time in the world.

© 2015 Laura Almeida



Author's Note

Laura Almeida
This is a writing exercise I did a couple of weeks ago.

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Reviews

Laura, my only critique on this post card story would be it's title. I would've gone with "All the Time in the World".

Posted 1 Year Ago


The thing I like best about this message: "I thought we had all the time in the world" . . . despite the simplicity of this obvious observation, it's one that people simply forget too soon. In the 2nd paragraph, I get the feeling you're blaming her friends without acknowledging that drunk driving was Elsa's choice, not theirs. Other than that little bump, the rest is clear & straightforward & relatable.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Short and full of feeling. Loved it. So we're off to a great start! What a bane alcohol is to some people I might also add. I really liked the last line. It brings the whole story together. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Simple and yet effective. The message is universal and is delivered in a way that anyone could appreciate it. Nice work.

Posted 1 Year Ago


This brings home the fact that it can all end any time. But love can be implied and does not have to be outspoken every time we leave. Well done Laura.

Posted 1 Year Ago


WoW!!!
beautiful write and yes a great message: we must make the people we care about, feel loved.........

i really liked it!!!
:)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Superb writing, touching story but the best part; terrific lesson. Take time as it comes, you can never have it enough.

Posted 2 Years Ago


This story is sad, yet very thought-provoking. Very well written.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Sign of the times, I guess. In the ancient days of snail-mail, we put a little more thought into what we were writing or saying. Now in the age of instant communication, we tend to just write or talk without thinking. Also with emoticons we don't have to actually “feel” anymore. Just select an emotion from a list. We seem to be de-evolving into a pictographic society again.

Hey, you made me think. Stop that.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Laura Almeida

1 Year Ago

That i very true!

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332 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on December 13, 2015
Last Updated on December 13, 2015
Tags: car, crash, time, death

Author

Laura Almeida
Laura Almeida

London, United Kingdom



About
I'm 23 years old, I love short stories and currently I write alot and read alot. If you want me to review something you wrote just pm me. Its great to meet you all more..

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