Why?

Why? Why? Why?
The constant question,
That pulsates through my blood,
Like jolts of energy.

Yet it's the most difficult question of all,
Not what?
Or when?
Or how often?

I don't really understand why,
Only that I need to feel something;
It's like I'm living in a world
That's detached from reality.

A zombie-like state of mind and body,
Watching the blood reminds me that I'm alive,
It doesn't hurt much.
But somehow it makes me feel better.

Until I realise; once again,
That the method I use is sadistic
Like my skin,
It engraves my mind also.

I keep every unhappy emotion that I can to myself.
It's not healthy,
I'm like a flame in a glass bottle,
When I use up all the oxygen,
I burn out, but then...
I explode.

Author's Note

I wrote this at a time when I really nedded to channel some pain and anger into something productive, of course I will happily except any constructive critism you may have.

Reviews

[ron]

I feel that way most of the time. I put on a msile and tell every one im ine. But deep inside the pain is my only solice to life that takes so much. Thank you for sharing It good to find others and know im not alone

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you for your review.

[Forgiven]

Wow... very deep and certainly alot of emotion and pain throughout. Love it! Awesome job!

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you so much.

[Ryan Walker]

Keep it up bud, good work.

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you.

[Cool Handless Luke]

i think we were of the same mind at one point in time. perhaps i will re post those poems i wrote and maybe you can draw something from them as much as i am drawing from you have written. if you are interested they are a series of poems that tell one story. i post them as a book and each individual poem as a chapter so that one can follow the progression. it's called Burdalane, which is an obscure word i discovered that means alone and friendless. thanks for sharing what you have written.

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you for your review, I'd love to read your Burdalane work ( plus I've learnt a new word.) Oh, and I love your avatar by the way.

[Cool Handless Luke]

Thanks. I am in the process of putting them back on right now. Will release them for reading when I get it done.

[Alone In A Crowd]

Great, can't wait

[Blue Belle]

I can relate to asking why. Favorite lines: "That pulsates through my blood" and "I'm like a flame in a glass bottle." I also really like that it's not "what," "when," or "how often"; never thought of it like that. Take Care! Stay Strong! :)

[Alone In A Crowd]

Your reviews have been the highlight of my day, thank you so much; and I'm glad you can relate. I guess my poems aren't just helping me, but helping others also.

[Blue Belle]

:)