Crush

Insanity: Doing the same thing expecting different results.

It's always the same,

the change they think they can bring to a person who spites them.

Suffers them only long enough for the fix,

and screws them with every ideal we are taught to avoid;

except we're not being taught to avoid.

Woman are being taught to idolize,

justify,

even memorize the patterns of abuse and neglect. 

Rejected by every illusion they call men,

and making the same mistakes. 

Over and over-

and over what? 

Some insane delusion that you might change the fact there are bruises underneath your blush?

You flinch when I touch your arm,

and your eyes are always weary.

Yet you fall again and again for the same cat calls and fairy tail lips

that we're breeding you to want to have between your hips,

and you cry rain like acid.

You cry until your eyes bleed with why,

because you've made the same choice,

but twice.

Three times,

four times,

you say you are not crazy yet

insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results;

and your results are like a bad tattoo of your ex lovers name

over your rib cage.

The first was over your heart where he broke it,

second on your shoulder like a brand,

and the last on your side so when he cracked your spine 

you could hide how it felt to feel paralyzed.

You are insane,

you're insane if you think it is even remotely sane to think

that gunning after a bullet afraid of blood is going to save you from getting shot.

He'll drive it through your chest.

You tilt your head trying to see the world straight,

but he has his frame set,

knows his aim and you're in his way.

So you sit there,

saying you can't get him out of your mind.

He isn't in your mind,

he's in your collapsing lungs,

the stutter in your step,

the fear in your eyes,

and the words etched between the lines when you finally say all men are cowards.

You're insane.

I wish you would stop and see the worth you prioritize so much in him,

looks so much better on you.

If I could hold a mirror to your eyes and show you the stars shining behind the clouds,

I swear the rain would divorce your cheeks for good;

They would light fires in your chest,

and write plays about your dreams where you're the star and not the understudy.

However,

until you stop thinking we're all the same.

You're still insane.

Author's Note

This specific piece was written for the contest "Pick a Phrase, Insanity" by the group Feel Good Writers and I hope you enjoy it. I think it turned out great and I loved the theme of it, it's something I'm really passionate about and all in all, I'd say it is one of my more compelling pieces.

Reviews

[Red3Bravo]

Interesting piece. The dynamics of physically violent relationships are always so screwed up and twisted. I have never been able to figure them out. I thinks it's interesting that the narrator focuses on her as crazy for not leaving, when the narrator is just as guilty, watching this pattern repeat itself over and over without stepping in or walking away. The three characters have a dysfunctional little triangle going on. Turns out they're all crazy.

[Andrew Rayne]

Glad you caught on to it all. :) One of the first. Glad you liked it.

[Cladine]

I laughed so hard with this .I'm sorry . It was because you definitely hit her with those words .Girls are really insane I guess . No ,more like you're right ! I am a girl and I feel bad to say it haha but there really some. You put powerful words to persuade the readers what you think of "her" insanity. I love it!You're so great in delivering lines by lines of your poem. I wish I could write like you :) anyway great job!

[Andrew Rayne]

Haha, well I guess that is one emotion among all the emotions I wanted to get. I appreciate it and glad you enjoyed it. :)