My shadow

My shadow

A Poem by Avanthika
"

first i wrote the poem then thought of a theme. i had no idea where the words were taking me.

"
I live a pretty solitary life,
since the day passed my wife,
dirty house, dirty environment, 
dirty place with outright silent. 

The land is deserted,
my mind is diverted,
lonely life,lonely place,
In nobodys heart i have no space.

Everytime i recall your final touch,
that was when beyond too much,
makes me sad,
going to be mad.

False vision i see everyday,
flying black cat on the side of bay.

In my lonely adventure,
there is nothing much of a venture.

My lonely steps followed by one,
thought would be someone's son, 
though i cant see him,
just like me, he's too slim.

Over the valleys and the mountains,
he follows me though every fountains,
not a minute away from me,
I shook my head, still i can see.

Fears the darkness, cheers the light,
he gets taller, when light gets bright. 
I raise my left, he raise his right.
I cant see him, i cant fight.

The one who understands my sorrows,
is the only one who follows,
it is no one but my shadow,
no heart, no soul everything is hollow. 

© 2014 Avanthika



Author's Note

Avanthika
when i said my frnd, give me a topic and i write you a poem, he asked me to write a 32 line poem from the word bank with five words- solitary,flying,black cat, deserted and shadow included in it. So did i did justice to my challenge? what say you?

My Review

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Featured Review

A interesting poem. Hard topic life and death. Every person react different to death. Like in the poem. Some people fall to loneliness and hollow self. I do understand. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

2 Years Ago

thank you so much sir , glad you liked it , your reviews are inspirational for me.
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome.



Reviews

You have changed the theme of the poem midway, so much so, that the two parts can stand alone as seperate poems, but somehow they stick together, that too beautifully. And there lies your genius. Very well.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

its a good work...nice reading it Avanthika...:))

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A sad poem but written eloquently. Keep up the good work!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yes, you did justice to the challenge. the poem made me feel sad. well written!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's good. The idea behind is wonderful, there are a few errors but over all it's wonderful.
You won the challenge...:)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

considering all the constraints that your friend put on you to write this piece. I belive it is wonderfully penned.

Thank you for sharing.
Angad

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shows the lonely self of the person in pain. Nice response to the challenge!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

2 Years Ago

thank you so much dear:)
Sindu

2 Years Ago

You're welcome
This really creative and good as the rhyming was really good :) Great job

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

2 Years Ago

thank you so much sir , kindly do suggest me tips to improve my writing.
yep. you included the words and constructed an amazing poem.. i was on the verge of crying. how lonely such a situation could be..i have got the picture from this poem.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

2 Years Ago

thank you so much dear , thanks a lot:)
it is a brave attempt and written with honesty but honestly, it needs work.
last four stanzas are actually very beautiful.
i liked it.
:)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

2 Years Ago

am all ears to hear your suggestions my frnd.

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19 Reviews
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Added on October 30, 2014
Last Updated on October 30, 2014
Tags: shadow, lonely life, loss, love, alone

Author

Avanthika
Avanthika

Kochin, Gods own country, India



About
Young girl who likes to call herself as a writer, reading is not my kind of thing but "I read to write". My usual is quite unusual. more..

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A Chapter by Avanthika



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