Straight Razor

A Story I thought of after having a nightmare similar to this.

Straight Razor

In the darkness I hear the creaking of the gaping door. My breathing becomes frantic. The creaking stops and I wait for it to return, but It doesn’t. I come out of the closet in which I was hiding to find that my room was empty, was I dreaming it all? I slowly begin to trust in my fatigue and go toward slumber. In my dreams I still have the fear of someone watching me, the creaking door, the slow sighing I hear beyond the insecurity I now feel. I awake to hear the sound of screeching from my parents’ bedroom.

I rise from the bed starting to move towards the noise, it stops. I run out to find my mothers body to be sliced with a straight razor, her blood trickles down the wooden floor to my feet. The warm blood goes in between my toes, and I arrive at something…I could be next…

As I walk away from the corpse, which once was my mother, I see him. My father. The man who meant everything to me, with his head cut off from is body. His skull lies on the bed, his blood soaks the newly pressed sheets, still warm, still lively. His eyes look at me, fearful and petrified. I see also his hope for a savior, a hope that I could be the one to liven him again. I reach down and see he too was sliced with a straight razor. I see a glistening out of the corner of my eye. The razor. Stained with blood I pick it up and see a shadow. I turn around and see him, the man who will end my life. He slowly creeps towards me and laughs.

“That’s the dream I had last night mom…” I said to her

“Sweetie it’ll be okay, come sleep with me and your dad tonight”

 

Author's Note

Please comment on what you think of my story (what you like, dislike, and what needs improvement)

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

My only suggestion would be to break up your paragraphs a little bit and maybe change the font. The font you used is too large in my opinion and takes away from your story. It is written well and you don't want things to retract from your piece.

"As I walk away from the corpse, which once was my mother, I see him. My father." There should be a comma instead of a period between 'him' and 'father' My father doesn't quite fit and isn't a complete thought all by itself.
That was really the only major thing to fix in my opinion.

You have a good writing style and I enjoyed the read. Just a few fixes and you'll be good to go. Fantastic work!

You said you read some of my work? I didn't see any reviews from you... I wasn't sure if maybe they didn't post or perhaps you didn't leave any comments. Either way that is fine.